As a poetic start:
What in the world now,
Are you genuinely that lazy?
Yes, I think you are.
My spouse is truly one-of-a-kind. In the decade we’ve spent together, there have been few instances where he has raised his voice, let alone displayed any of the aggressive behaviors that would send a sensible person running. He is loyal, loving, intelligent, and engaging. Best of all, he excels as a father—fully involved, eager to play, and nurturing with our children. He possesses a delightful sense of humor, and his laughter is infectious. Each morning, he wakes up in good spirits, contributing to a positive atmosphere at home. He provides for our family and values our marriage, which are the qualities I remind myself of daily.
However, each morning I find myself questioning, “What on earth?”
Are these the same baby bottles that were soaking in soapy water last night now sitting in tepid, germ-laden water? Is that a dirty diaper next to the changing table? Didn’t I clean up these toys just yesterday, only to find them strewn across the floor again? Is the TV still on? Did the cat actually leave a mess in my closet because the litter box, which I specifically asked you to clean last night, remains untouched?
And why are your pants on the bathroom floor, left there after you stepped over them on your way out? Oh, and your shirt is literally a foot away from the laundry basket—really? I appreciate your good hygiene, but what kind of morning ritual leaves the mirror, counters, and floors drenched? Did you pull out your toothbrush and toothpaste today? I know you did because I put them back every day, yet you may believe they magically return to their spot along with the cap of the toothpaste and your other grooming items.
And don’t let me get started on your wet towel—my side of the bed is not a drying rack!
But it’s all fine because when you return home to take care of the kids and manage household chores, I can retreat to my office, where I left some chocolate—yes, the chocolate you gifted me for Mother’s Day. You ate my Mother’s Day chocolate right off my desk?
Also, regarding the refrigerator, one should not simply leave an empty juice jug inside. Leaving a teaspoon of salsa and proclaiming, “I saved you some,” is hardly generous. No, you didn’t save any; just eat the whole jar. And by the way, pesto is not a dip! If I don’t finish my restaurant meal, it’s not your midnight snack. And who, pray tell, eats baby food? Baby cookies are pricey and not meant for you.
Let’s discuss some basics that seem to be overlooked:
- Trash: It goes in the trash can. It’s not a challenge to see how much you can cram in before the lid closes. Change it. “Change it” also means putting in a new bag, taking the full one to the garage, and placing it inside the large bin. Ever heard of recycling? That’s where the stack of boxes should go—not piled up by the door in the garage.
- Cups: Why must we wait until there’s only one cup left before you bring in a dozen dirty ones from your truck?
- Your truck: It is not a trash can! When I have to ride in it, I shouldn’t need a 15-minute cleanup just to make space for myself. And what on earth is that smell? I can transport two kids in my car without any unpleasant odors.
- Your dresser: It’s meant for folded clothes. I wash, dry, and fold them—so why does it look like a clothing tornado hit when I open a drawer? You needed those shorts at the bottom, but the rest didn’t deserve the devastation.
If you’re “helping” by putting away clothes, kindly avoid stealing my socks. And those panties? They aren’t as small as our daughter’s, so how do they end up in her drawers?
The washing machine can handle heavy loads, but it isn’t meant to accommodate four at once. One word: separate. Also, a project should be completed, especially when it requires purchasing expensive tools. Leaving them on the patio table in the rain is not wise. And I suspect we wouldn’t have to buy new ones if the other tools weren’t lost in that chaotic garage, which is supposedly your area of responsibility—along with the trash and the litter box.
I could share more, but I’m exhausted. Just because I stayed up late doesn’t mean you should let our 4-year-old stay up too. Put her to bed. That is all. Good night.
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In summary, while my partner has numerous admirable qualities, the little messes around the house are an ongoing challenge. It’s essential to communicate and address these issues to maintain harmony at home.
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