Moving to a new city poses significant challenges, especially when balancing remote work with the demands of raising children. The task of finding playmates for my youngest, a four-year-old, often leaves me questioning the wisdom of having just one child at home while my older kids are in school. It’s a daunting cycle.
In my earlier years as a mother, I meticulously organized playdates and coordinated outfits for my boys. Our routines included dedicated bath time with appropriate toys, enriching trips to the library, and creative activities like homemade playdough and finger painting. I pushed myself to the limits, trying to cram 18 years of parenting into just the first few.
One of my key beliefs was to ensure my children watched no more than the recommended two hours of television daily. Although, on particularly challenging days, I may have relented to three hours—perhaps a couple of times. My children were shielded from what I deemed inappropriate programming, opting instead for educational choices like Barney, Baby Einstein, and the occasional Disney movie during rainy days.
As my parenting journey continued, I learned an invaluable lesson: pacing oneself is crucial.
Fast forward ten years, and I now find myself at home with my youngest child, who is just a year shy of starting school. While I would love to say we enjoy playdates and trips to the zoo, the reality is that I am too exhausted to seek out other energetic mothers who manage daily baths and social interactions.
So, what do I do with my last child? I let her watch whatever she prefers on television while providing her with crayons and cardboard boxes to keep her occupied. A few Cheerios scattered on the floor, a trickling faucet for her to play with, and a few episodes of Baby Bratz, and I can accomplish four hours of work with minimal interruptions. Thanks to my smartphone, I can effortlessly transition her to the next show without ever leaving my desk.
We do make an effort to watch educational programs like Super Why and Daniel Tiger to promote learning, but with only six hours of preschool each week, she often finds herself lonely. I’ve decided to let go of the guilt. Through a surprising process of osmosis, she has picked up some letters and numbers, even teaching herself to tie her shoes. My attempts to limit screen time for my second child didn’t prevent him from developmental challenges, so I’m less worried about my youngest’s exposure to television.
Sometimes, as mothers, we must do what is necessary for our sanity. I recall my own childhood, spent in my father’s real estate office while my mother worked. There were no tablets or DVDs—just me and an array of old filing cabinets. My world changed dramatically when my father brought home a VCR and a single video. I watched it repeatedly, memorizing every line from Charlotte’s Web.
I refuse to berate myself for the fact that my youngest must navigate her early years without a sibling to play with. I cannot play the role of her constant companion, and the pressure to engage in educational games all day is overwhelming. If she wants to involve me in her doll play, I’m happy to oblige. Otherwise, we might as well learn some Spanish from Dora today.
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In summary, navigating the complexities of parenting often requires flexibility and acceptance of our circumstances. By embracing the reality of screen time and focusing on what works in our busy lives, we can foster a positive environment for our children to learn and grow.
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