Last night, I came across a compelling blog post by Jessica Lane titled “The Mother in the Frame.” In her writing, Jessica candidly expresses her reluctance to appear in family photographs: “I’m so present in their early years, yet I have very few images capturing me alongside them. One day, I won’t be here — whether that day arrives tomorrow or in several decades — and I want them to have tangible memories of me. I want them to see how I looked at them, how deeply I loved them. I may not fit society’s standards of beauty, but as their mother, I am perfectly imperfect.”
I experienced a similar realization not long ago. Extended family members and friends filled our photo albums, but I was noticeably absent. My desire to avoid showcasing my insecurities — flabby arms, a soft belly, and a few gray hairs — led me to hide behind the camera instead of stepping into the frame. If you perused our albums, you might struggle to believe I attended all those family gatherings and events.
Fortunately, I have made a conscious effort to include myself in photographs with my children, and the results have been heartwarming. You’d be surprised to find frames around my home featuring pictures of me with my kids. It’s a delightful change!
Embracing the Frame
So, how did I come to embrace this? Did I suddenly adore my reflection? Did I experience a surge of confidence overnight? No, my friends. I stumbled upon a simple yet transformative strategy I like to call “grab a kid.” This approach can truly enhance your life, too.
Gone are the days of stiff, side-by-side poses with my children. Now, when it’s time for a snapshot, I wrap my arms around them, creating a loving embrace that not only captures our bond but also cleverly disguises my perceived flaws. It’s like wearing Spanx, but for moms!
Worried about your hips? Let a little one perch on one side. Concerned about your midsection? Have your child sit on your lap. Looking to minimize a double chin? Snuggle cheek to cheek for an upward angle with your little one. Want to conceal everything? A big bear hug will do the trick, with only your smiling face showing.
Take, for example, a photo I took with my daughter, Mia, during our recent excursion to Seattle. We look joyful together, and while that’s true, I can’t help but smile knowing she’s covering all my insecurities. What’s not to love about that?
Capture the Moments
So yes, make it a priority to be in those pictures with your children. You’ll be grateful you did, and in the future, so will they. If you’re not quite ready to confront your imperfections, simply grab a kid, hold them tight, and say cheese — it never fails to yield a great shot.
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In Summary
Embracing your role as a mother means also embracing the moments you share with your children, flaws and all. By integrating them into your photographs, you create lasting memories that reflect your love, while cleverly masking your insecurities.
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