Before I became a mother to two energetic boys, I wouldn’t classify myself as overly feminine, but I did enjoy the occasional makeup session, dressing up, and accessorizing. Fast forward to today, and I find myself questioning when I last applied lipstick or donned a nice outfit. After putting the kids to bed, cracking open a cold beer, and settling in for some TV time, I can’t help but reflect on how my life has transformed—has my husband’s laid-back approach to life rubbed off on me?
While I recognize that I might be making broad generalizations about men, my observations are primarily based on my husband, who embodies many of the stereotypical traits associated with masculinity. Here are several ways in which motherhood has led me to adopt some of his habits, and why I might need to reconnect with my feminine side before the boys grow up and the house becomes overrun with testosterone.
1. Rapid Morning Routines
I used to be envious of how quickly my husband could get ready. While I would spend over an hour grooming myself, he would take a mere five minutes—three for a shower and two for brushing his teeth and dressing. Now, as a mother, I’ve mastered the art of preparing in just seven minutes. A quick shower, a dab of powder, and a swipe of mascara are all I need to establish my identity as a woman. My hair often gets thrown into a ponytail, and my outfit choice hinges solely on whether or not my legs are shaved. It’s amusing to find myself waiting in the car for my husband to finish getting ready.
2. Breastfeeding in Public
Though I couldn’t breastfeed my first child, my experience with my second was transformative. The first time I nursed in public, I felt exposed and anxious, fearing judgment. However, the urgency of a crying baby quickly reshaped my perspective. Now, I find myself breastfeeding in public spaces, though I often choose the most inconvenient outfits. It’s humorous to see men flaunting their bare chests while I fret over my own modesty.
3. Culinary Simplification
I jokingly refer to my slow cooker as my “wife.” Cooking has become less about elaborate meals and more about convenience. I’ve started to throw together whatever ingredients I find in the fridge, and if it turns out well, I boast about it as if I’ve just catered a grand event. When the meals flop, I simply tell my husband that we won’t be repeating that one anytime soon.
4. Prioritizing Sleep Over Intimacy
With a four-year-old who frequently interrupts our evenings, the concept of foreplay has transformed into “after sleep.” My child often crawls into our bed during the early morning hours, making intimacy challenging. The good news is that once the kids are asleep, we can enjoy some “after-sleep” moments, though cuddling often gets interrupted by snoring.
5. Willingness to Handle the Gross Stuff
There was a time when the idea of handling bodily fluids was unthinkable. Yet, when my first child decided to go diaper-free, I found myself catching poop with my bare hands to save the white carpet. I’ve since become desensitized to many disgusting tasks—wiping boogies, cleaning throw-up, and dealing with soaked sheets have become part of my daily life. My husband might be too grossed out by what he’s seen to want intimacy at this point!
6. Adaptation to the Smell Test
I used to meticulously manage our laundry, but now I’ve adopted my husband’s “smell test.” When faced with mountains of laundry, I find myself rummaging through the dirty clothes hamper, wondering if a pair of pants could survive another wear. It’s a new challenge, akin to a Seinfeld episode: “How far can these jeans take me?”
7. Diminished Listening Skills
I used to pride myself on being an attentive listener. Now, however, my four-year-old’s constant questions and interruptions have made it hard to focus. I find myself using my husband’s technique of agreeing at random points in conversations. My son often calls me out, insisting he’s not done talking.
Am I stereotyping? Perhaps. But it seems that blending some habits has resulted in a unique family dynamic. My husband has proven to be more nurturing than I expected, while I’ve embraced a more relaxed attitude. For anyone considering motherhood, including those using resources like the At-Home Insemination Kit, it’s essential to know that transformation is part of the journey. For more in-depth information, visit this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, embracing both the feminine and masculine aspects of parenting can lead to a fulfilling and balanced family life.
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