I must admit: the cause of autism is not something that keeps me up at night. It simply doesn’t matter to me. Understanding why my child is autistic is not a priority; I have no need for blame or explanations. What I truly need is a bit of rest, not a deep dive into autistic research. As Bob Seger might say, I’ve “turned the page” on that chapter.
Why this seemingly self-centered approach?
The answer is straightforward: survival. My daily life is packed with responsibilities, and I prefer to leave scientific inquiries to the experts. Those researchers won’t be coming over to help with the laundry or the dishes. I’ll let them focus on their work while I look up new crockpot recipes instead.
You might be wondering about other families who are navigating similar situations. I understand your concern. I’ve met several families who have joined the autism spectrum community. It’s difficult to witness loved ones go through this transition, especially since there’s no card offered by Hallmark to commemorate the occasion. However, I can’t shoulder that burden as well. I choose to concentrate on what’s essential for my child. I’m all for helping others with practical advice, but I find that spending time discussing sports or favorite TV shows is much healthier for any parent’s mental well-being than delving into medical studies. Sometimes, we need to switch off the “All autism, all the time” mindset because, honestly, my mind requires a break.
Life with a Ten-Year-Old
My son is now ten years old, and I have more pressing matters at hand. A transition to middle school is on the horizon, and I recently noticed some changes in him—like hair growth in unexpected places and the emergence of that typical teenage odor. Puberty is approaching, and I’m already anxious about the day we tackle shaving his face. Right now, I struggle just to get him to trim his toenails without resorting to sneaking in while he sleeps. Could I shave him in his sleep? Is that even a possibility?
He still has difficulty writing his name, and you expect me to sift through countless articles and blogs about the potential origins of autism? That task falls to the bottom of my list. He’s growing up quickly, and I have too much on my plate to add that to my worries. Honestly, I can barely remember to take something out for dinner, let alone navigate through endless medical research. My family can’t thrive on research.
If the question of what caused your child’s autism is still looming large in your life, I empathize. I made the choice to close that chapter, and it has resulted in a much happier existence for me.
Finding Freedom in Focus
While I adhere to routines and schedules, I also find freedom in this decision. I’m not suggesting this is the only way to think; as we say in Jersey, “You do you.” However, you might find value in redirecting your energy away from that singular focus. You just might end up thanking me for it.
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