The Morning Struggle of the Early Rising Parent

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It’s 7:23 AM, and I’ve already been awake for an exhausting hour and eight minutes. On a Saturday, no less!

In our household, waking before 7 AM is strictly prohibited, yet here I am, experiencing the chaos that comes with early risers. No one in their right mind would want to cross paths with me when the clock still shows a six.

So, one hour and ten minutes into my day, I can’t help but wish it was already over so I could crawl back into bed. However, since that’s not an option, here’s how I’ll be spending the morning instead:

  1. Mourning the lost opportunity for a peaceful lie-in.
  2. Considering the potential eBay value of my kids—without mentioning their early wake-up habits.
  3. Cursing my neighbors whose homes remain blissfully dark and quiet.
  4. Reflecting on the poor decision to binge-watch that “just one more” episode of my favorite show last night.
  5. Scrolling through social media to connect with fellow exhausted parents.
  6. Creating new rules and reward charts aimed at keeping the kids in bed until 7:00 AM—although I know they’ll be abandoned by next weekend when they inevitably fail again.
  7. Eating breakfast, even if it means serving lunch at 10:30 AM.
  8. Drafting a complaint to a popular toddler clock company, expressing my frustration that my child figured out how to “bring the sun up” within just two days. Now the sun appears randomly at 4:00 AM, 5:00 AM, and 6:00 AM.
  9. Imagining the countless things I could accomplish if only I weren’t so utterly drained.
  10. Nodding off intermittently and repeating this cycle for the remainder of the day.

I’ll see you again at 6:00 AM tomorrow, folks!

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Summary:

This article captures the relatable struggles of parents who find themselves waking up far too early, even on weekends. The author humorously recounts the various coping mechanisms employed to navigate the challenges posed by early-rising children, while also providing links to valuable resources on fertility and family planning.


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