Celebrating life has always been my thing. Throughout my college years, wild parties, vibrant shots, late-night fast food runs, and even the occasional pajama-clad lecture were part of the adventure. Fast forward to now, at the mature age of 35, and the days of carefree revelry feel distant. I can hardly recall the last time I truly let loose and enjoyed a night out. If I want a social life that transcends children’s birthday parties and awkward product-pitching gatherings, my options are limited.
First, there’s the dance club scene, where I walk in feeling somewhat put together, only to be surrounded by a sea of 21-year-olds whose bodies seem to defy gravity. Watching them stumble and gyrate while slurring “Ohmygawd, I’m sooooooo drunk right now” can be a sobering experience. Alternatively, there’s the quiet bar scene, where patrons sip martinis under subdued lighting, resembling off-duty attorneys in a serene atmosphere. While both environments have their merits, neither captures the essence of what I crave.
As thirtysomethings, we find ourselves in a peculiar predicament. We often feel out of place among the youthful crowd in clubs, yet we’re still too young to be content with the tranquility of a martini lounge. We have gained confidence and self-awareness over the years, but navigating the social landscape during this stage of life can feel frustratingly awkward.
Isn’t it ironic?
The answer is clear: we need a venue tailored specifically for those in their thirties. Picture a club with a dance floor free from the exuberance of twenty-somethings, playing nostalgic hits from the ’90s—because who wouldn’t want to bust a move to Sir Mix-a-Lot? The establishment would open at 7 PM, allowing ample time for dinner since we’ve learned the hard way that drinking on an empty stomach is not ideal.
Closing time would be 1 AM, respecting the reality that we have responsibilities to tend to the next day. There would be enticing drink specials to accommodate our more substantial financial commitments, like mortgages or babysitting fees. A quieter area would be available for moments when the music’s volume becomes overwhelming (something that didn’t bother us in our twenties but certainly does now). Think bathroom attendants stocked with ibuprofen, hand sanitizer, and Tums—a true lifesaver! An onsite massage therapist might even be on hand for those unexpected muscle strains from an enthusiastic dance move. Plus, a complimentary shuttle service would ensure safe transportation, as we all know that the sober driver is not always a reliable choice.
This would be an enchanting haven, where adults could celebrate life with the same enthusiasm we had in our younger years, while also embracing the wisdom our thirties have bestowed upon us. No longer would we feel out of place for knowing our limits and opting out of that last shot or leaving before midnight.
I just need a place where I can rap “Shoop” without receiving disapproving glances from those who were still in diapers when it first came out.
Someone needs to bring this vision to life. The first round will be on me!
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In summary, thirtysomethings need dedicated social venues that cater to our unique desires for connection, nostalgia, and fun—while remaining attuned to the realities of adult life.
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