By: Jamie Thompson
Updated: Aug. 23, 2017
Originally Published: Jan. 1, 2013
Bedtime stalling is a crucial skill that every toddler should aim to perfect by the age of two. With the application of these proven strategies, you can successfully extend your bedtime by as much as forty-five minutes. With enough practice, you’ll find yourself enjoying midnight snacks, binge-watching late-night comedy, and shopping for cozy blankets from infomercials before you know it.
LESSON ONE: MAKE PJ TIME A CHALLENGE
Initiate a high-speed chase around your home. If a caregiver attempts to dress you, immediately go limp, effectively transforming into a 1000-pound weight. If they manage to remove your clothes, do not hesitate to make a hasty escape while blissfully naked.
LESSON TWO: SUDDEN GUSTATORY INTEREST
This strategy is most effective when you have established a pattern of disinterest in food. By suddenly displaying enthusiasm for dinner just as the bedtime routine begins, you create a dilemma for your parents who are torn between their wish to tuck you in and the worry of potential starvation.
LESSON THREE: OVER-ACHIEVING ON ORAL HYGIENE
Go all out when it comes to brushing your teeth. Request additional toothpaste, switch toothbrushes multiple times, and let the water run for an excessive duration. Once satisfied, declare your teeth still not clean enough and repeat the process. You catch the drift.
LESSON FOUR: HIDE YOUR SECURITY ITEMS
Develop the need for multiple comfort items such as a blankie, stuffed animal, and a sippy cup. About an hour before bedtime, strategically hide these items around the house. Valuable minutes will be earned as your parents embark on a nightly treasure hunt, fully aware that you won’t settle down without your beloved items.
LESSON FIVE: BOOK SELECTION DELAYS
When it’s time to choose bedtime stories, freeze in front of your bookshelf, feigning indecision. Negotiate for more books; if they say two, confidently ask for three, or even four. Your goal is dissatisfaction. Opt for the longest story available or, if you’re feeling adventurous, choose a book filled with flaps that require extensive exploration.
LESSON SIX: ENGAGE & AMAZE
Throughout the day, your parents have tried to engage with you, and now is your moment to shine. Flash a charming smile, use every word you know, and start an engaging conversation. Sing a catchy tune or express love to your parents. The aim is to make it as difficult as possible for them to leave your side.
LESSON SEVEN: FINAL STALLING STRATEGY
If a parent attempts to lift you into your crib, recognize that your stalling time is limited. You can either resist by arching your back and kicking your legs or simply accept your fate with some dramatic flair. My recommendation is to embrace the situation. You’ve already accomplished a lot, and there’s always tomorrow to refine your tactics.
Sleep well, aspiring little staller!
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Summary:
Mastering bedtime stalling techniques can greatly extend the time before sleep arrives for a toddler. By employing strategies such as creating chaos during PJ time, suddenly craving dinner, dragging out tooth brushing, hiding security items, negotiating book choices, engaging parents in conversation, and executing dramatic protests during bedtime, toddlers can successfully delay sleep. Each strategy is designed to keep parents on their toes, ensuring that every minute counts before lights out.
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