Updated: Feb. 16, 2021
Originally Published: Jan. 12, 2013
When some women hear another mother refer to her husband as “babysitting,” it can spark an intense reaction. After all, this man is not just a temporary caregiver; he is a father, the legal guardian of the children. However, there are instances where it may feel like he’s merely stepping into a babysitter’s shoes. Here are ten reasons illustrating why fathers can be seen as babysitters, despite their official role:
- Transactional Relationship: While you may not be slipping cash into his pocket, there’s still a sense of quid pro quo. Whether it’s a guys’ night out or some much-needed alone time, you owe him for his efforts.
- Guilt of Overindulgence: Considering the arrangement, you might find yourself questioning, “Can I really justify this?” This guilt can amplify when thinking of the time away from home.
- Limited Availability: Fathers often seem to be fully engaged only when the mother is unavailable, even if that means being home sick. If you’re present and healthy, you may find yourself roped into various tasks.
- Detailed Instructions: To facilitate his childcare, you might leave extensive guidelines. This can include everything from meal preferences to bedtime routines, ensuring he knows the ins and outs of the household.
- Anxiety About Their Capabilities: When you leave, your mind races with worst-case scenarios, from minor messes to more serious emergencies. The thought of chaos can be unsettling.
- Regulations on Technology Use: It might be necessary to enforce rules regarding TV, internet, and phone usage. Some fathers may need reminders that keeping the kids entertained isn’t synonymous with binge-watching shows.
- Strategic Placement of Items: To ensure he has what he needs, you might place essential items in conspicuous places. A box of diapers on the counter might seem excessive, but it can prevent confusion.
- Unrestricted Fun: Your children may engage in activities that you typically wouldn’t allow, such as unbalanced meals and late bedtimes. While they might enjoy the freedom, it can be a source of worry for you.
- Unexpected Housework: If he does manage to clean or tackle some laundry, it feels like a bonus. This kind of initiative is often beyond expectations and deserves recognition.
- Everything Appears Fine Upon Return: Despite potential hiccups, the home usually seems intact upon your return. It’s a relief when things aren’t as chaotic as you envisioned.
For those women whose partners actively share parenting and household responsibilities, consider yourselves fortunate. Your husbands could offer valuable lessons to others navigating the balance between being a partner and an additional child.
So, while technically no father should be labeled as a babysitter, if the cap fits, why not embrace it? Perhaps a humorous t-shirt might just do the trick.
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Summary
Fathers often take on roles similar to babysitters, experiencing unique challenges and dynamics in their caregiving responsibilities. Despite their official title, the experiences can sometimes feel akin to those of hired help. Understanding this can foster better communication and expectations in parenting partnerships.
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