10 Disgusting Behaviors You Hope Your Kids Never Exhibit (But Likely Will)

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Let’s be honest: kids are a handful. The occasional messy diaper, projectile spit-up, and runny noses are just the beginning. However, it’s the more outrageous and unsanitary habits that can truly test a parent’s resolve. Here’s a rundown of some cringe-worthy actions that small children might engage in—some of which I can neither confirm nor deny were committed by my own little ones.

1. Creative Uses for Boogers: Beyond simply consuming their nasal treasures, kids have been known to find alternative uses for boogers. From crafting “art” on walls to using them as makeshift adhesive, the creativity knows no bounds.
2. Public Pool Mishaps: Nothing screams embarrassment quite like your child deciding to have an “accident” in a public pool. Even after a successful bathroom trip prior to swimming, the allure of a swimsuit can lead to a catastrophic overflow. If you’re lucky, it’s contained—but if not, you may find yourself orchestrating a hasty evacuation.
3. Fiddling During Meals: The urge to explore their own anatomy often strikes at the most inopportune times, such as during dinner. Kids may engage in curious self-exploration only to return to their plates, completely unfazed.
4. Foraging for Old Snacks: Imagine the horror of discovering your toddler happily snacking on remnants from the car floor. Whether it’s an ancient piece of chocolate or a forgotten cracker, the thought of them dining on discarded food is enough to make any parent cringe.
5. Disgusting Food Experiments: Culinary creativity can take a wrong turn when kids start mixing foods that should never be combined. Whether it’s a bizarre concoction of juice and ground beef or a ketchup-covered apple, their experiments could rival fraternity hazing.
6. Improvised Napkins: Kids often prefer to wipe their mouths and hands on whatever is available rather than using an actual napkin. From shirts to furniture, their choice of “napkin” can be both amusing and alarming.
7. Neglecting Clean Underwear: It may be easier for kids to put on the same pair of underwear day after day rather than grab a fresh set. It’s only when laundry day arrives that you realize the extent of their undergarment neglect.
8. Storing Food in Cheeks: Children have a peculiar habit of hoarding food in their mouths for extended periods. By the time they finally decide to swallow that piece of turkey, it’s been masticated into a puree that could trigger a gag reflex.
9. Drinking Expired Beverages: Thirst can lead kids to take sips from questionable sources. A sippy cup of milk left in the car for who knows how long could become a health hazard, so a quick inquiry about its freshness is always a good idea.
10. Creative Toilet Paper Alternatives: As kids gain independence, they may attempt to wipe themselves without the necessary supplies. When toilet paper runs out, you might find that your nice hand towel has been repurposed, leading to some rather awkward congratulatory moments.

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In summary, kids have a remarkable ability to turn the mundane into the utterly gross. While we hope they avoid these behaviors, the reality is that many of these habits are part of growing up. Being prepared and informed can help parents navigate these challenges with humor and grace.