25 Things My Kids Would Never Say

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In the realm of parenting, certain phrases never seem to escape the lips of children. Here are 25 statements my children would never utter, which might resonate with other parents as well.

1. “Mom is on a call, let’s keep it down and find something quiet to do.”
2. “I’m fully aware of where my soccer shoes are located!”
3. “I think I’ll play with my toys now; I really have quite a few.”
4. “What’s for dinner? That sounds delicious!”
5. “That puddle looks messy; I’ll resist the urge to jump in.”
6. “We’re in the car for five hours? I better use the restroom first.”
7. “I’m too full for any dessert right now.”
8. “I have a lot of homework to tackle tonight; I should begin.”
9. “You seem preoccupied; I’ll ask Dad instead.”
10. “We all agreed on what to watch on TV tonight.”
11. “Thanks for the delicious lunch! I didn’t swap any of it at school.”
12. “You’re way more entertaining than Dad!”
13. “Let’s finish those thank you notes quickly!”
14. “I’ve had enough screen time for today.”
15. “I have a project due in two weeks; I should probably get started.”
16. “I feel ready to head to bed now.”
17. “It doesn’t matter what my friends can have or do.”
18. “What was it you wanted me to do earlier? I’ll make sure to do it.”
19. “I’m genuinely enjoying this long car trip.”
20. “I need to wash my hands before we eat.”
21. “I’ll opt for the smallest piece, thank you.”
22. “You’re busy in the bathroom? No problem; I’ll wait patiently for my turn.”
23. “You’re wearing that outfit? You look fantastic!”
24. “There’s so much to do around the house; we’re such fortunate kids.”
25. “We’re going to be late—let’s hurry up!”

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In summary, these phrases capture the essence of what kids typically don’t say, highlighting the humorous disconnect between expectations and reality in parenting.