On my 18th birthday, I made a choice that many would consider a rite of passage: I got my first tattoo. After exchanging my driver’s permit for a state ID at the DMV, I ventured into a nearby tattoo shop tucked between a Chinese restaurant and a Dunkin’ Donuts. My decision was not driven by a desire for self-expression, but rather as a rebellious act against my mother’s wishes.
As I browsed through the pre-drawn designs—known as flash—I felt a mix of excitement and anxiety. When a burly, bearded artist inquired about my choice, I impulsively pointed to the first design I noticed: a black cross entwined with a yellow rose. Despite his attempts to dissuade me, I went ahead and had it inked on my lower back, a location that has since become colloquially known (though I didn’t know it at the time) as a “tramp stamp.”
Today, I have numerous tattoos and 14 body piercings, but despite my fondness for body modifications, I have made a firm decision regarding my daughter’s ears: I will not pierce them. Yes, the woman with the vibrant hair and eclectic style has chosen to refrain from putting jewelry in her toddler’s ears.
From the moment my daughter was born, family members have inquired about when I would pierce her ears, often expressing disbelief that I hadn’t done so already. They seem to assume that my own choices would naturally lead me to make the same decision for her. However, I believe these are two very different issues. While I could have reacted defensively, I simply explained that ear piercing is not something I intend to do. Ultimately, my daughter should be the one to decide what happens to her body, and that decision should come with her maturity and ability to articulate her wishes.
Some may argue that piercing ears is a harmless tradition. After all, my own mother used to pierce my ears in our kitchen using a needle and thread. But the reality is, it’s not just about her ears; it’s about consent and bodily autonomy. All of my tattoos and piercings were my choices, for better or worse.
If my daughter expresses an interest in getting her ears pierced when she is older—say, at six, eight, or even ten—I will gladly take her to a professional piercer and help her understand the process. But I will not impose this decision on her; I refuse to modify her body for my own aesthetic preferences, especially when it holds no cultural significance for us and provides no medical benefit.
In the meantime, shiny earrings won’t bring her joy like the simple pleasures of life do—Cheerios, Mickey Mouse, and her favorite characters provide far more happiness than a piece of jewelry ever could.
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In summary, while I appreciate the sentiments behind ear piercing, my daughter’s autonomy is paramount. I believe that decisions about her body should be left to her, and I encourage parents to consider the implications of such choices.
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