In my early twenties, a therapist suggested that much of my life’s turmoil could be attributed to Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This diagnosis caught me off guard, as I had never considered myself to have a problem with focus.
“I genuinely believe you have ADD; it explains your difficulties with daily responsibilities,” she remarked, handing me a questionnaire. “If you score high enough, your physician can prescribe Adderall.” Her tone implied that my issues resembled those of a hyperactive child fueled by candy.
At home, I approached the questionnaire earnestly—until I encountered a question that read, “Do you struggle to pay attention to tasks that bore you?” Isn’t that the very definition of boring? If a task were engaging, it wouldn’t be a challenge to focus on it. I stopped filling it out, concluding that taking charge of my life would be more beneficial than ADD tests or medications.
However, for parents, particularly those who stay at home, perhaps Adderall could alleviate various challenges. Many parents, like me, wrestle with maintaining focus on mundane tasks throughout the day. If we take the questionnaire I completed years ago seriously, a significant number of us might qualify for what I term Parenting Attention Deficit Disorder (PADD). Fingers crossed that it makes it into the next DSM edition.
This doesn’t mean my attention drifts constantly. I can manage the seemingly endless cycle of feeding snacks and meals, engaging in coloring sessions, and reading stories for extended periods. Yet, there are moments when I find myself distracted, wondering what adults who aren’t scrubbing mac and cheese off the ceiling are up to, leading me to scroll through Facebook. On occasion, I might glance at news headlines to assist my eldest with her social studies homework, rather than asking, “We have a black president?! Since when?”
Even when PADD nudges me toward interesting non-parenting pursuits, I try to keep my ear tuned to the children’s activities. I must remain vigilant to ensure my son doesn’t overwhelm his little sister with affection, reminiscent of Elmyra from Tiny Toons, whose love could be smothering. For the most part, he is a caring older brother, but at four years old, he’s hardly ready for babysitting duties.
The other day, I experienced a PADD episode at a particularly inopportune time. While my toddler and son were playing together upstairs, I peeked in to check on them. I saw my daughter entertaining herself with her sister’s dolls, while my son sat at his desk, back turned to me. After a brief anti-PADD fix on Twitter, I ventured upstairs only to discover that my son was engaged in a game he referred to as “Cut everything,” a title that was both accurate and alarming.
I quickly confiscated the scissors and we set about cleaning up the countless pieces of confetti scattered across the room. In a first for me, I even vacuumed my toddler’s clothes while she was still wearing them (yes, I shared this on Facebook during my next PADD episode).
I didn’t think about the incident again until my wife came home that evening and asked, “What happened to our daughter’s hair? Where are her beautiful curls?” It struck me then: in those brief moments of neglect, my son had given his sister an impromptu haircut. As clever as she is, she promptly informed on him: when asked if he had used scissors, she nodded and said, “Boy. Hair.”
We were both caught.
I understood my wife’s frustration at my lapse in supervision; we were fortunate it was only a haircut and not something more severe. Since then, I’ve made a concerted effort to be more watchful. I try to resist the siren call of the internet and stay engaged with my children. Still, maintaining constant vigilance is challenging.
It’s essential to note that PADD isn’t merely a modern phenomenon influenced by our digital age. Parenting has always been fraught with distractions. Even in ancient times, as soon as humans stood upright, some parent likely ignored their child to marvel at the flickering flames of a fire. I have anecdotal evidence to support this claim.
When my son’s preschool teacher shared her experiences, she recounted a similar incident: “My older daughter once gave her little sister a haircut while they were playing under the kitchen table. It was a disaster; she cut it so short that it resembled a poorly done Marine cut.”
“Where were you when this was happening?” I inquired.
“Simply sitting at the table, enjoying my coffee and reading the newspaper,” she replied with a shrug. So, while earlier generations may not have been glued to Facebook, they undoubtedly faced their own forms of PADD.
In summary, navigating the challenges of parenting in today’s world can often lead to moments of distraction and oversight. Whether or not PADD will ever be recognized in psychological literature remains to be seen, but it’s clear that the struggle for focus is a timeless aspect of parenthood. For additional insights on enhancing fertility and the intricacies of pregnancy, consider visiting Healthline and explore our other resources on home insemination kits, as well as fertility supplements to improve your journey to parenthood.
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