Every morning, when my partner Alex stirs awake, he gently rolls over and wraps his long, slender arm around me. He rests his chin on my shoulder, and his lips, dry from sleep, brush against my ear. With a voice still heavy with slumber, he begins to sing—more like a chant, really, as his vocal talents leave much to be desired.
But the words are always the same: “You are the most beautiful wife in the world…” Instantly, every hair on my neck stands at attention, eager to absorb his affection.
At that moment, I’m wearing cropped leggings with a conspicuous hole in the back and a simple white tank top, sans bra. It’s been two nights since my last shower, I think. My hair is tangled and matted against the pillow, concealing the drool that had escaped during the night.
Needless to say, I don’t fit the traditional mold of “the most beautiful wife in the world.” In fact, I would wager I wouldn’t even make it into the top 100. If there were a contest for the title of “Most Beautiful Wife,” I could easily be disqualified based on the length of my leg hair alone.
But here’s the surprising truth: he genuinely believes that I am that wife. He truly sees me as the most beautiful.
Me?
Before meeting him, I had four children. I sport stretch marks in unexpected places—behind my knees and above my ribs. My torso is longer than average, while my legs are so short that I can’t even reach the floor when sitting at my desk; they just dangle there. I wear a size ten in jeans and have a stash of Spanx. When I jog (which I only do if I’m being chased or trying to make it to the dollar section at the local thrift store), my body moves in ways that could only be described as a chaotic display.
And yet, he sees that and believes I’m the most beautiful wife in the world.
I had to explore a few logical explanations for this. First, after conducting several informal eye tests with various apps on my phone, I can confidently rule out any vision problems on his part. So the idea that he “doesn’t really see me” is off the table.
Additionally, I can’t dismiss the notion that he’s never seen anyone else naked. He was married before me and likely has perused magazines that feature less-than-realistic bodies, all in the name of “quality storytelling,” of course.
So why does he perceive me as so stunning, while I see only flaws?
I attribute that to societal pressures and unrealistic standards. Not you specifically, but rather the cultural influences surrounding us—the coworker in the next cubicle, your middle school teacher, or the salesperson at that trendy lingerie store who once told me they didn’t stock bras in my size. They are the ones to blame.
However, while you might be standing in the shower, wishing for a flatter tummy, the man you love is simply hoping to catch a glimpse of you. If you were to turn around and say, “Hey, let’s get it on,” do you honestly think he’d respond with, “Sure, but only if we turn off the lights to hide your stretch marks”?
The truth is, many wives believe they would appear more attractive if they just lost a few pounds or underwent a cosmetic procedure. Yet husbands often find their partners incredibly attractive just as they are. I’ve asked around, and the consensus is clear.
So, who is telling you that your body isn’t ideal?
Only voices that don’t matter. Only people you don’t know. Only that nagging inner voice that insists you aren’t a good enough mother, or that you don’t deserve that promotion, or that you shouldn’t wear that outfit.
Who reassures us that our bodies are just right?
Only the person who shares your bed each night. The one who sees you naked regularly and would drop everything for a spontaneous moment of intimacy. That voice, whispering in the morning, telling me I’m perfectly built—reminding me, “You are the most beautiful wife in the world,” even as I close my eyes tight and struggle to accept it.
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In summary, it’s important to recognize that beauty is often perceived differently by those who love us. Our insecurities may cloud our self-image, but the love of a partner can illuminate our worth. Embrace that love, and remember that you are likely far more beautiful than you think.
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