Updated: Aug. 21, 2015
Originally Published: Sep. 16, 2013
Recently, a man gained notoriety for maintaining a detailed Excel sheet of his partner’s reasons for declining sexual activity. Sharing such information publicly is unlikely to enhance intimacy. In an effort to avoid similar scrutiny, I’d like to present my own list of reasons why tonight may not be the night for closeness.
- Personal hygiene is an ongoing battle. Between the remnants of meals, the aftermath of toddler messes, and general exhaustion, I often feel less than fresh. Despite a shower today, I’m already on my third shirt due to perspiration.
- The disagreement we had just moments ago over baby bottle preferences is still fresh in my mind. Let’s just say, it was less than mature.
- My libido seems to have been swapped for overwhelming fatigue. It’s as if my energy has taken a permanent vacation.
- How about we just pretend to be intimate? We could easily convince others that we’re always in the mood, even if it’s not the case.
- Have you ever considered that maybe a third party could add some excitement? I’m thinking of a cleaning service that can manage the household chores while we focus on… other activities.
- Sure, we could engage in intimacy. But honestly, who wouldn’t prefer an extra 19 minutes of sleep? I know what my choice would be… zzzzz.
- Constant micromanagement and second-guessing are not exactly mood enhancers for me.
- After a day spent as a human playground for my children, all I crave is some quiet time with a magazine and perhaps a generous pour of vodka.
- You know what really gets me in the mood? A simple acknowledgment that you might have been wrong in a past argument—just once!
- It’s essential to highlight this: I truly need another shower. I feel as if I’ve been rolling in fast food.
Despite the challenges of maintaining a marriage and raising two small children, I still find you incredibly attractive. While our toddlers can certainly complicate things, I cherish our partnership and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Perhaps we’ll find the time tomorrow night? Until then, I’ll keep you in my dreams.
For more information on home insemination, check out our post on the artificial insemination kit for some insight. If you’re looking for resources, March of Dimes provides excellent information on fertility treatments. And for those considering a more intimate approach, the at-home intracervical insemination syringe kit could be beneficial.
In summary, the balance of marriage and parenting can often lead to distractions that impede intimacy. While this list reflects common hurdles, it’s crucial to maintain connection and humor amidst the chaos.
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