As mothers, it’s essential to support one another, and part of that support involves addressing behaviors that might be driving us all a little crazy. Here are five things that many mothers wish would come to an end:
1. Stop Seeking Your Children’s Approval
“Sweetheart, we’re going to take a shower now, okay?” “We’ll clean up first, alright?” It’s common to hear parents asking their little ones for consent, but why ask a child if it’s okay to wash their hands? More often than not, we don’t need to give our children a say in every situation. If I allowed my kids’ preferences to dictate my day, I would be trapped inside while my son plays video games and my daughter insists on more ice skating. As the parent, it’s critical to assert control without posing every action as a question. Let’s reserve questions for those rare moments when their opinions truly matter.
2. Avoid Referring to Yourself in the Third Person
When a child is an infant, saying things like “Mommy loves you” is important for their understanding of who you are. However, once they reach the age of two, it’s time to stop. I recently overheard a father, well into his forties, say, “Daddy’s making dinner” to his eight-year-old. This not only diminishes his identity but also fails to teach the child about the multifaceted roles of a parent. Kids need to recognize their parents as complete individuals, not just as “Mom” or “Dad.”
3. Cease the Pattern of Empty Threats
“I’m going to take that ball away if you keep kicking it in the house.” How many times do we hear this? Instead of repeating threats, take action. Kids can detect insincerity, and empty threats only undermine your authority. If you’re not prepared to follow through, it’s better to remain silent. Establishing a reputation for consistency teaches children that your words carry weight.
4. Refrain from Blaming Your Children
At a friend’s house recently, I noticed a four-year-old drinking their third glass of juice, and the older sibling wanting soda. The parent shrugged and said, “They just don’t like water.” This response shifts responsibility onto the kids for their poor choices. Parents need to manage what is available in the home. If your children can’t access sugary drinks, they’ll adapt. Don’t blame them for being drawn to what’s easy and available. If water isn’t an option, they’ll drink what you provide.
5. Don’t Encourage Picky Eating in Public
I hosted a family gathering recently and received a flurry of texts about the food choices, revealing that the kids were particularly picky. It’s crucial to teach children how to navigate social situations gracefully. This isn’t about allergies but rather the typical picky eater. If your child doesn’t want what’s served, they should learn to accept it politely. As a parent, I prepare by giving my child a snack before events and remind them that if they don’t like the food, they should simply say “thank you” without making a fuss. If necessary, they can have something else at home later.
Take it from someone who has been there—these behaviors can be counterproductive. So let’s support each other by making these changes for the benefit of our children and ourselves.
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Summary
Mothers often wish for certain behaviors to stop among their peers. These include seeking children’s permission for actions, referring to oneself in the third person, making empty threats, blaming children for their choices, and indulging picky eating in public. By addressing these issues, we can create a more supportive and understanding parenting environment.
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