Jenna and Mark, a military couple with two kids, faced a life-changing moment during Jenna’s pregnancy with their third child. “The doctor called,” Mark said, his voice trembling. “It’s not good news. I’m on my way home.”
When they arrived at the clinic, the doctor revealed that there was a 99.9% likelihood that their baby had Down Syndrome. “That day felt like we were mourning a loss,” Jenna reflects. She found it hard to get out of bed, managing her emotions by talking openly with her mom and Mark. In contrast, Mark preferred to process the news quietly on his own. “We were both grieving, but in completely different ways. I wanted to talk it out; he didn’t,” Jenna explains.
This could have been a recipe for marital strain, but Jenna and Mark chose to lean on each other and learned valuable lessons along the way. If you’re navigating something similar, here are some tips from their experience:
Embrace Each Other’s Differences and Compromise
“I respected Mark’s need for silence, and he understood my desire to talk,” Jenna says. During unexpected challenges, it’s crucial to acknowledge that you both may need to cope differently. Recognizing these differences and being selfless can help foster mutual understanding.
Communicate Your Needs
Jenna quickly learned to express her needs without overwhelming Mark. “I gave him space, but when I felt ready to burst, I made sure to let him know, and he was there to listen,” she shares. Many couples struggle with communication, but setting aside time to discuss your feelings can make a world of difference. Use this formula: “I feel X when Y happens. I need Z.”
Support Each Other
Grief can hit unexpectedly, so it’s essential to be there for your partner when they’re struggling. “On days when one of us was down, the other would step up,” Jenna recalls. “If I was having a tough time, Mark took care of everything around the house, and I did the same for him when he needed it.”
For more insights on navigating tough times, check out this other post on our blog, Modern Family Blog. And if you’re considering starting a family, take a look at Make a Mom’s Babymaker kit, a leading provider of at-home insemination kits. For further information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Facts About Fertility.
In summary, Jenna and Mark’s journey through this unexpected diagnosis taught them to embrace their differences, communicate openly, and support one another. Their love and commitment emerged even stronger from the challenges they faced together.
Leave a Reply