15 Strategies for Embracing Average Motherhood

1. home insemination kit

   The remnants of snacks found at the bottom of the highchair? Those are simply “appetizers” for later enjoyment.

2. The forgotten French fries nestled in the car seat are now classified as baby toys. After all, there’s a campaign about not texting and driving, and this is just part of the initiative to avoid distractions while searching for baby snacks and entertainment.

3. That pair of underwear found in my son’s pant leg was intentionally placed there as a backup plan for any accidents at school.

4. The old milk bottles lurking under the couch? They are part of an experimental culinary project. We’re attempting to craft our own butter and cheese, which surely requires a cool, dark storage area, right?

5. Those heated moments between siblings? They’re not fighting; they’re simply engaged in a physical exploration of the vast realm of brotherhood.

6. The bathroom door isn’t locked to escape my children. No, it’s locked so I can listen to their little knocks from the other side, ensuring they are safe while I take a moment to myself.

7. Hairpins, thumbtacks, and batteries found in the couch cushions? Obviously, this is the last place the kids would think to look for them. Keeping such items in high places only encourages risky climbing and potential injuries.

8. Baby locks? We’ve retired those; the kids have repurposed them as makeshift weapons.

9. Yes, I am somewhat fatigued. Our household operates under a strict policy that only one person can sleep at a time, and the kids, along with my partner, always take precedence.

10. Clean laundry often sits in a pile on the floor for a day or so. I read that this allows the fabric to breathe, much like letting a bottle of wine sit uncorked or allowing meat to rest after cooking.

11. Yes, I occasionally let the baby snack off the floor. This practice is known to boost immunity and greatly benefits skin, hair, and nails.

12. My son is out in public wearing only one shoe because he’s participating in a fun game called the “Lose One Shoe Scavenger Hunt.” It’s a hilarious way to revisit the places we’ve already been.

13. The soap scum on my shower door? That’s not an oversight; it’s a creative touch I call “faux frosted glass décor.”

14. Mint-flavored, sugar-free candy is perfectly fine for their teeth and also works wonders for minor tummy aches while freshening breath.

15. You might call it bribery, but I see it as a method of positive reinforcement behavior training.

For those interested in expanding their family, exploring options such as home insemination can be a valuable journey. Check out this resource on artificial insemination kits, like the one featured in our blog post at Make a Mom. Additionally, for more comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, Parents offers excellent insights.

In summary, navigating the journey of motherhood is filled with its own unique challenges and idiosyncrasies. By embracing a sense of humor and flexibility, we can find joy in the imperfections of parenting while still striving to provide a nurturing environment for our children.