As many are familiar with the concept of the “Man Cold,” where adult males dramatically react to minor ailments, let’s not overlook the trials of a Mom Cold. As a mother, it’s not uncommon to catch a bug and find yourself juggling the responsibilities of caregiving, housekeeping, and self-care, often when you’re the sickest one in the household.
The Mom Cold consists of nine distinct stages that can be navigated with resilience. Here’s a detailed guide on how to manage the chaos that comes your way:
Stage One: Initial Complaints
It begins quietly with soft requests for tissues and soothing soup. However, this quickly escalates into exaggerated complaints about the texture of tissues or the flavor of medicine.
Stage Two: Symptoms Intensify
As you search for remedies, you suddenly hear the unmistakable sound of a nose being blown. You look down to realize the tissues are in your grasp—too late! You rush to find your little one using their shirt as a makeshift tissue. Meanwhile, you start to feel chills and notice a fever creeping in.
Stage Three: Embracing Comfort
At this stage, you abandon any pretense of a tidy home. You dress everyone in cozy pajamas, gather boxes of tissues, popsicles, and the remote control. Just when you think you can finally settle in, you hear, “Mom, my tummy hurts,” followed by a sudden eruption. Time to call the pediatrician and brace for a long hold.
Stage Four: Medication Management
The clock hasn’t ticked long enough to administer more Tylenol, yet you find yourself wishing for a magical sleep aid. Instead, you prepare a nourishing broth and gather warm packs while your children squabble over who gets to choose the next show.
Stage Five: Disorientation
As snot flows freely and coughs echo, your mind races to recall what task you were headed to complete. Bathroom? Kitchen? You’re now thoroughly disoriented, and the exhaustion sets in.
Stage Six: Nutritional Dilemmas
With all the whining and requests, keeping track of lunch orders becomes a challenge. You mutter under your breath about being a short-order cook while rummaging through the fridge for leftovers. You whip up a hearty stew and grilled cheese, but alas, the kids demand popsicles instead.
Stage Seven: Lost Voices and Frustration
Your voice has diminished, which is perhaps a blessing since all you want to do is express your frustration at their antics. Motherhood, indeed, comes with its challenges!
Stage Eight: The Quest for Sleep
After a day filled with children’s programming and snacks, bedtime finally arrives. You collapse at the foot of one child’s bed, only to be roused by snoring that wakes them up again. The thought of sleep becomes elusive, leading to contemplation of boarding school.
Stage Nine: Recovery Phase
Despite the chaos and neglect of your own wellbeing, you miraculously emerge on the other side of the Mom Cold. The house may look like a disaster zone, and laundry has reached mountain status, but everyone’s health is intact.
Bonus Round!
You send the kids off to their grandparents for a much-needed break, allowing you to tackle the cleaning. By cleaning, we mean catching up on sleep.
In summary, the stages of the Mom Cold illustrate the resilience of mothers in the face of illness and chaos. The next time someone complains about a “Man Cold,” just smile and remember that moms are truly tough.
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