This morning, I observed Mia struggling with her socks, which were inside out. She was determined to turn them the right way and put them on by herself. When I gently offered assistance, she retorted with a familiar phrase: “No! I can do it myself!” This response echoed my own childhood, and as frustration mounted—her with the socks and me with my desire to help—I realized how irritating this stubbornness must have been for my parents when I was young. It’s equally frustrating as an adult to navigate life with a facade of self-sufficiency, insisting to everyone, including myself, that I don’t need assistance. I can handle everything: getting to the bus on time, managing sleepless nights with the baby, packing lunches, preparing homemade meals, and engaging in fun activities with the kids. I can do it all! Truly, I can!
Except when I can’t.
The reality is, it has been a challenging week. Ben has just returned home after a long business trip. While he has traveled before since our youngest was born, this trip felt exceptionally long, especially after all our family support had long since departed. I found myself alone with all three children, day and night, feeling like the human equivalent of a 24-hour news cycle—constantly on and often repeating myself.
Ben left early Monday morning, and by noon that same day, I realized I needed to adjust my expectations. Laundry would get done, but likely not put away, accumulating in soft piles around the house. We might catch the school bus—but then again, we might not. If we drove, we’d make it just on time; early was out of the question. Homework would be completed, and the kids would be fed—even if that meant resorting to scrambled eggs most nights. When Mia asked during our Mommy/Mia day why we weren’t engaging in any activities (because I was exhausted from sleepless nights!), I mustered the energy for a cooking project. We made hamantaschen for Purim. To be honest, we only made six, but at least we created something together.
However, by Wednesday, I realized my mantra of lowered expectations wouldn’t suffice. I needed to take a more significant step: accepting help. Admitting I couldn’t manage everything on my own felt daunting. It was akin to Mia’s frustration with her socks, but magnified.
So, when a neighbor offered to walk my son, Leo, to the bus stop, I accepted. When a friend called to bring dinner, I said yes. That delicious meal lasted for two nights and perhaps even one breakfast. When another friend offered to pick Mia up from piano class, I agreed. And when yet another wonderful friend offered to hold my youngest, Lily, allowing me to enjoy a much-needed cup of coffee with both hands, I said yes.
That single word—yes—proved transformative. It’s humbling to realize it took me 36 years to acknowledge this. With the support of those around me, I made it to Friday, when my husband finally returned home. He understood that I needed a moment to myself, to step away with a cold drink and some fries, away from the little ones I adore but also need a break from.
As I grabbed my keys and called out to him, “Need anything?” he replied, “Just you.” “That’s easy,” I said, “I’ll go get her. Be back in an hour.” I need him. I need her. I need them all. Yes.
Resources for Home Insemination
For anyone interested in exploring home insemination options, a helpful resource is available at this link. Additionally, this article provides valuable information on self-insemination techniques. For those considering donor insemination, this site offers excellent guidance.
Conclusion
In summary, accepting help is essential, especially for busy parents. It’s important to recognize that asking for assistance isn’t a sign of weakness but rather a necessary step toward maintaining balance and well-being in the chaos of parenting.
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