My Mother and the Enduring Lessons

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The wisdom imparted by my mother often revolved around unspoken truths, hushed conversations, softly lit spaces, and the gentle grip on my arm that conveyed more than words ever could.

She revealed to me that the ideal gingerbread recipe is created with blackstrap molasses, best prepared the day after Thanksgiving.

From her, I learned that laundry, albeit an unending cycle, can be creatively dried on anything from a rope to a tree branch, or even draped over an Adirondack chair. It can be wrung out in the sink and hung on the shower curtain rod, or pushed through rollers powered by hand beneath birch trees as we washed our summer clothes in the cool lake water.

Clothes can also be dried in a modern Kenmore dryer, complete with a dispenser that fills the air with a golden fragrance. This scent evokes memories of freshly laundered t-shirts and the sight of my mother, her eyes glistening with suppressed emotion, standing beside the washer. She gripped the edge of the white enamel top loader, unable to articulate her sorrow over the loss of her sister’s newborn—a tragedy I had not yet encountered in my young life.

My mother taught me that mountains of socks, underwear, and tank tops could be transformed into neatly arranged stacks. She emphasized the importance of promptly stowing them away in drawers to prevent the inevitable collapse of a tower of blue jeans, which she would lament as “just a damn shame.”

She imparted lessons about energy, time, and the inevitable passage of life. I came to understand that as a mother, your daughters may mirror your laughter, replicate your turkey gravy, and set the table just as you would—with napkins and candles. Yet, despite these similarities, they may not truly know you, having stood at the threshold of dimly lit rooms filled with unspeakable feelings, where the unexpressed is tucked away in the heart’s closed drawer.

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In summary, the lessons from my mother are profound and multifaceted, encompassing practical skills and deep emotional truths that persist through time.


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