Understanding Autism Through Connection and Community

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One afternoon, my son, Alex, who is ten years old, turned to me and said, “Mom, does my little brother have autism?” We had just finished a family outing, and I noticed my five-year-old, Leo, trying to fit a blueberry into his nose. I paused for a moment, considering my response.

“Alex, I understand why you might think that, but Leo has not been diagnosed with autism,” I explained gently.

“Who else has it? Who else is like me?” he asked, his eyes wide with curiosity.

I could easily recite statistics about autism, sharing that one in every eighty-eight children is diagnosed. I could explain that there are countless individuals who share similar experiences, those who might see colors differently or remember intricate details about past events. But I knew that numbers and data wouldn’t resonate with him.

Instead, I began to highlight the strengths of autism—his remarkable memory, his kindness, and his determination. Yet, I could feel the weight of loneliness resting on him, the sense of being the only one in our family, in his class, perhaps in the world, who has a diagnosis on the spectrum.

It felt like I was saying to him: “Alex, you are a magnificent unicorn in a field of ordinary horses. You are stunning and unique! We know there are countless others like you, but we don’t know how to show you. We struggle to understand your magical ways, and sometimes your outbursts frighten us. Maybe it would be simpler if you were just like everyone else; then we could teach you the basics of fractions.”

When I began writing this blog, I didn’t have a clear purpose. Reflecting on these past two years, I realize it was a way for me to connect with others who navigate the challenges of autism and parenting. From my cozy office, I could share my experiences, my frustrations, and my laughter, finding solace in the digital community. If I could raise awareness in the process, that would be an added bonus.

However, I often felt I had fallen short. While I connected with a broader community, I worried that my son still felt isolated, confused, and ashamed. To reach out, I asked my followers on social media to help demonstrate to Alex that he is not alone—that many others share his journey, enjoying music, working jobs, and indulging in ice cream after dinner.

The responses were overwhelming. “Hi, Alex! My son, also named Alex, has autism. He is seven years old, and despite his social challenges, he has an incredible presence. You are not alone!” another parent wrote.

Messages flooded in from across the country: “Hello, Alex! My 15-year-old grandson has autism and is a shining star in my life.” Each message resonated deeply; I saw reflections of Alex in their words, and I felt the warmth of shared experiences.

“I have a 14-year-old son with autism,” another message read. “While I had hoped to teach him sports, I cherish his brilliant mind and sense of humor. My goal is to ensure he lives his best life.”

Even teachers joined in. “I’ve taught several students with autism, each one bringing unique joy to my life,” read one note.

Alex and I explored a message from a family in the Netherlands during dinner one night. His eyes sparkled as he recognized the capital city, Amsterdam. We continued reading, discovering stories of children from various backgrounds, all with unique traits, just like him: “My son, who is eight, loves soccer and everything Minecraft. He is kind and brings joy to those around him—just like you!”

A few individuals shared their personal journeys. “I have autism and have achieved a lot in my life. I’m 25 now and proud of who I am. You are definitely not alone.”

Throughout the week, Alex asked to read the comments daily, his excitement growing with each revelation of shared experiences. “My beautiful daughter has Autism and ADHD; she feels lonely even in a crowd.”

From my perspective, autism casts a wide, unpredictable net. Some families find themselves with multiple children on the spectrum, while others have just one. “I have two wonderful boys on the spectrum. Autism is simply a part of who they are, like their hair color or eye shape.”

One morning, as I sifted through emails, Alex curiously hovered over my shoulder again, drawn back into the Facebook thread. “Mom, look at this one!” he exclaimed.

Beneath all the responses, I noticed a heartfelt message: “Hi Alex. My son has autism, and I loved him from the moment he was born.”

Initially, I thought of a “bajillion” as just a whimsical term to express the number of responses. However, it became clear that it represents so much more. It encompasses the confusion, fear, and joy of countless families; it embodies individuals from all walks of life experiencing the beauty and challenges of autism.

A “bajillion” is both a vast and intimate concept. It’s filled with laughter, struggles, and the shared moments between brothers navigating their unique paths in life, all under a bright blue sky.

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Summary

This narrative reflects on a mother’s journey to connect her son with autism to a broader community, highlighting the importance of shared experiences, understanding, and the feelings of loneliness that can accompany a diagnosis. The story emphasizes the value of support, connection, and the realization that autism is just one facet of a person’s identity.


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