One day, my 13-year-old daughter, Lily, approached me with an intriguing proposal. “Give me $100, and I’ll cover all my expenses for the entire school year.” This idea stemmed from her cousin, who is known for being quite frugal.
“What do you mean by ‘all expenses’?” I inquired. My husband suggested, “Have her draft a proposal.” Lily eagerly grabbed a pen, dreaming of the possibilities with that $100 bill.
I felt hesitant; parting with a single $100 note was daunting. However, it quickly dawned on me that her plan could ultimately benefit our family financially. Adolescents often seek independence, and Lily was no exception. She resented my attempts at helping her with small tasks, such as fastening her coat or choosing her outfits. She wanted to make her own decisions about bedtime, clothing, and even lunch choices—suggesting a haircut was a surefire way to trigger her annoyance.
This journey toward high school, college, and eventual adulthood presented an opportunity to teach her about budgeting and responsibility. I hoped that this $100 allowance could serve as a stepping stone toward her independence.
Lily’s proposal outlined what “everything” encompassed: clothing, shoes, entertainment, food, sporting events, and gifts for friends. I knew $100 wouldn’t cover all her needs, but she insisted she could manage. I took a deep breath and signed the agreement.
September Expenses:
- $20 for school supplies, which included a set of colorful pens
- A $5 shirt from a popular retailer
- Two lip glosses costing $7
- A $30 pair of wedge shoes
I would love to say I kept my opinions to myself regarding the shoes, but when I reacted with shock at the price, Lily was understandably annoyed, reminding me it was her money. I quickly apologized and promised to refrain from commenting further. However, just thirty minutes later, after evaluating her wallet against her purchases, she experienced buyer’s remorse and returned the shoes.
I constantly reminded myself: this was her journey, not mine. September felt like a blissful honeymoon phase for her; she was thrilled to spend her allowance freely. A few candy bars, a discounted pair of jeans, and even generous tips for her siblings became the norm.
By October 1st, she had bought a stylish blue coat for $40. Yet, the reality set in quickly. By October 2nd, her funds were depleted. Just a few days later, she approached me with a furrowed brow, suggesting it might be time to reassess her budget. I smiled knowingly—there was no room for negotiation.
With newfound urgency, she began seeking out babysitting opportunities and advertising her services to neighbors. As Christmas approached, along with events like a weekend dance and spring track gear, she began to prioritize her spending. She started collecting spare change and practiced her piano more diligently to earn money from her grandmother for each completed book. She even accepted less-than-ideal babysitting gigs.
This experience proved valuable not just for Lily, but for me as well. I enjoy shopping for my children and hunting for discounts. However, once the allowance was established, I had to resist the temptation to jump in and make purchases, as doing so would undermine her financial lesson. Once, I bought her a Chapstick, and her delighted response made it worthwhile.
Over the month, I witnessed a significant transformation in Lily’s financial management. She no longer begged me for clothing; she had taken ownership of her finances, leading to a surprising increase in her appreciation for the items I did buy.
Interestingly, Lily’s three younger siblings have now expressed interest in receiving their own $100 allowances. Instead of dreading the idea, I welcomed it. More allowances could mean more valuable lessons for all.
Recommendations for Implementing an Allowance System:
- Clearly define expectations: Determine who pays for what (children could cover “extras” with their own money).
- Assist your child in creating a list of wants versus needs and discuss what belongs on each list.
- Help them draft a personal budget and document it.
- Sign the agreement together.
- Maintain a simple ledger to track income and expenditures.
- Avoid purchasing items for them or bailing them out!
While Lily has yet to take me up on my offer of payment for chores like weeding the garden or cleaning the chicken coop, I remain patient. I know that when she truly needs money, she will seek out opportunities.
My mother often said she assigned chores to build our self-esteem, a concept I dismissed at 14. However, I now understand her perspective. The sense of empowerment on Lily’s face when she earns something she desires is truly rewarding.
For more insights on financial planning and family budgeting, check out this resource on IVF and consider reading about fertility boosters that can help in understanding family planning.
In summary, introducing an allowance can be a transformative experience for both parents and children, teaching essential life skills around budgeting and responsibility.
Leave a Reply