15 Parenting Terms for the Unintentional Crunchy Mom

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Some women consciously embrace the crunchy mom lifestyle, while others, like myself, find themselves adopting it because it simply fits our reality. If you relate, you might recognize some of these terms, though your interpretation may differ from that of a true crunchy mom:

  1. Wearing Your Baby: Instead of struggling with a double stroller, you opt for convenience—nestling your toddler in a lightweight pushchair while securing your infant in a baby carrier.
  2. Self-Directed Weaning: You skip the hassle of blending vegetables and let your baby explore finger foods.
  3. Co-sleeping: You avoid sleep training the infant because an easily disturbed two-year-old wouldn’t handle the crying well.
  4. Sensory Play Box: A large container filled with dried foods you thought would be a hit, only to discover rogue lentils hiding in your home until the end of time.
  5. Water Play Station: This is actually just an old bird bath left behind by previous owners.
  6. Extended Nursing: Your infant has developed a strong sleep association with breastfeeding… see point #3.
  7. Unstructured Play: When it rains and screen time exceeds acceptable limits, you let them explore with random household items.
  8. Child-Driven Activities: This really means “I’m not up for entertaining you right now”.
  9. Recycling: Hand-me-down clothes are essential since your little ones outgrow their gifts almost immediately. That truck-themed shirt? It’s just going to get dirty anyway… refer back to #2.
  10. Social Media Showcase: You post pictures of your toddler’s organic breakfast but conveniently leave out the less glamorous meals.
  11. Home Learning Group: More of an elaborate playdate than an educational setting, where chaos is the norm and you often feel a sense of relief when your child isn’t the one making the most noise.
  12. Natural Immune Boosting: Your six-month-old discovers a stray cheerio on the floor—hey, a little microbial exposure is good for her!
  13. On-Demand Nursing: When your baby cries, you instinctively turn to breastfeeding, believing it to be a magical solution.
  14. Repurposing: That Amazon box you neglected to discard has become a cherished toy for your toddler.
  15. Cloth Diapering: You leave that commitment to the true crunchy parents; you’re fine with your current method.

Next time an enthusiastic supermom invites you to an event or offers you a kombucha starter, you can approach the conversation with confidence, knowing you’re not alone in this parenting journey.

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Summary

This article humorously explores common parenting buzzwords through the lens of a mom who finds herself adopting these terms without fully embracing the crunchy lifestyle. The terms reflect her practical approach to parenting, highlighting the relatable struggles and realities of modern motherhood.


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