The Five Stages of Parent’s Sexual Relationships

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Many individuals claim their sexual dynamics remain unchanged after having children, while others assert that their intimacy increases post-baby. I respectfully disagree with both assertions.

While I appreciate a passionate encounter, it’s hard to envision a scenario where parenthood does not significantly impact one’s sex life. Unless, of course, you were already experiencing a lack of intimacy before children entered the picture. In that case, my sympathies are with you. However, if your pre-parenthood sex life was minimal, you may not feel the same bitterness regarding the inevitable decline in frequency that accompanies parenthood. Perhaps the strategy is to set your expectations low from the outset.

Now, let’s shift our focus to a more pressing matter: the undeniable impact of children on sexual relationships. Based on observations, I have identified five distinct stages that couples typically navigate in their sexual journey.

1. The Dating Phase

Ah, this invigorating stage! Remember the excitement? Each encounter was filled with an urgency that made it hard to keep your hands to yourselves. I distinctly recall the initial months with my partner when I barely had time to fix my hair—JBF hair, if you know what I mean: “Just Been…”

2. Cohabitation

This phase starts off with thrilling expectations, as every date leading up to moving in together culminates in intimacy. Naturally, you might assume daily encounters are just around the corner. But alas, reality often proves otherwise.

3. The Trying Phase

Known as the “pulling of the goalie,” this enchanting time brings you back to the euphoric dating phase as soon as you abandon contraception. For a brief period, intimacy feels magical. However, the longer conception takes, the more sex can morph into a rather fun science experiment.

4. Pregnancy

Entering this stage often elevates your spirits, but then reality sets in. Morning sickness can be quite the mood dampener, providing zero incentive for intimacy. Fortunately, by the second trimester, you might start to feel better. Unfortunately, many men find the prospect of intimacy less appealing as your belly grows—something about “poking the baby,” as they like to think.

5. The “Never Having Sex Again” Phase

Once you reach this point, your sexual life will never resemble its former self. Intimacy must now be scheduled around naps and bedtimes, and when you do manage to find the energy, you’re left praying the baby stays asleep—because any noise can instantly extinguish the mood.

While there are undoubtedly more than five phases in this journey of love, my partner and I have yet to experience them all. I suspect that once our child begins school in a couple of years, the cycle may come full circle, perhaps leading to spontaneous afternoon rendezvous again. If I’m mistaken, please keep that tidbit to yourself.

For those looking to explore the realm of home insemination, I recommend checking out the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo. This is a fantastic resource for anyone interested in starting their family journey. You can also find valuable information on in vitro fertilization, which can serve as an excellent supplement to your understanding of conception.

In summary, parenthood undeniably alters the landscape of intimacy for couples. While there are various phases that one can expect throughout this journey, the experience can vary widely based on individual circumstances and timing.


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