You’re a More Accomplished Parent Than I Am

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You’re a More Accomplished Parent Than I Am by Emily Carter

Updated: August 21, 2015

Originally Published: September 20, 2014

As a mother, I consider myself to be quite effective—perhaps even exceptional. I’ve intentionally set my standards rather low, which helps me feel accomplished. Both of my children are thriving, joyful, and healthy, and they are performing well academically. The remainder of parenting details? I simply don’t have the bandwidth to fret over them.

So, how do you measure up? You might just be a more accomplished parent than I am if…

1. The first words you utter to your children in the morning are “good morning, darling” instead of “it’s too early; find something to entertain yourselves.”
2. Your kids enjoy a nutritious home-cooked breakfast daily, rather than a hurried banana and juice you toss to them as you rush out the door.
3. You can style their hair without causing any discomfort.
4. You manage to wash, dry, and fold their laundry all in one day (does anyone even iron anymore?).
5. You can completely focus on your kids when you are with them and leave work thoughts behind when you are at the office.
6. Your lunch is composed of more than just your child’s leftovers.
7. You can refrain from chuckling at your child’s adorable mispronunciations—like “boobies” instead of “blueberries.”
8. You share your treats, like chocolate, with your little ones.
9. You can sit through an entire Disney movie without checking your phone or social media.
10. Evening bath time is a calm experience, and you’ve mastered the art of washing hair without a meltdown.
11. Your child’s art supplies are more plentiful than your wine collection.
12. Their masterpieces are neatly organized in a binder rather than randomly displayed on the fridge or, well, thrown away.
13. You have an ample supply of kid-friendly plates for dinner and don’t resort to using Tupperware.
14. When you peer into your fridge, you aren’t blinded by an overwhelming number of tin-foil-covered leftovers that you insist the kids consume the next day.
15. You never allow your children to skip tooth brushing, even when it’s late and you just want them to go to bed.
16. You don’t find yourself silently celebrating bedtime as you know they’re finally asleep.
17. You don’t dash downstairs to pour a glass of wine before even greeting your partner who has just come home.
18. You actually take time to plan dinner, rather than improvising a meal from whatever mystery item you defrosted that morning and the few items in the fridge that must be consumed today.
19. Your kitchen contains potatoes that have yet to sprout, and your vegetable peeler is functional.
20. You set a timer for dinner rather than relying on your sense of smell to determine when it’s ready.
21. Post-dinner, you and your spouse engage in a meaningful conversation that goes beyond surface-level exchanges like “How was your day?”

See? Clearly, you are doing a fantastic job as a parent, too.

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Summary

This article humorously reflects on the challenges and expectations of motherhood, presenting a light-hearted comparison of parenting standards. The author acknowledges her own imperfections while recognizing the efforts of other parents who may excel in areas she struggles with, ultimately promoting a sense of community and shared experiences among mothers.