Several weeks ago, I decided to indulge in a bath—complete with bubbles, of course. I treat myself to this luxury every seven to eight months, though it rarely offers the relaxation one might expect. However, I persevere in my attempts. Over the years, I have ceased locking the bathroom door; I’d rather risk unexpected interruptions than constantly hear my children bickering on the other side.
“Mom, are you finished? What are you doing? I was here first! Stop hitting me! Mom, he just hit me! I need to go potty RIGHT NOW!”
We have four bathrooms in our home—four! Yet, I still choose to leave the door unlocked, accepting the chaos as the lesser of two evils (sigh).
I managed to secure a blissful six minutes of solitude before my first uninvited guest arrived, confidently strolling in and promptly putting the toilet lid down to make herself comfortable.
“Why are you taking a bath, Mom? You never take baths.”
Before I can respond, my second unexpected visitor bursts in with even more enthusiasm.
“Mommy! You’re taking a bath! Can I watch?”
“No, and aren’t you supposed to be doing your homework?”
“Oh right! I’ll go get it.”
“Okay. Wait. What?”
Almost immediately, she returns without invitation, settling next to the tub with a pencil, her homework, and a lap desk.
“Really?”
“I need help with my homework, Mommy.”
The first uninvited guest chimes in, “Mom is trying to take a bath! Right, Mom?”
“Yes, indeed, my thoughtful child,” I reply, while the first child, still sitting on the throne, points out, “Mom, I can see your…” (gesturing towards her chest area) “Maybe you should cover them up with a washcloth or something?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? You see, in many cultures, it is customary to remove one’s clothing before settling into a water-filled bathtub. Generally speaking, of course.”
I seize every opportunity to impart life lessons (i.e., common sense) to my children.
Enter the third uninvited guest. Now, it’s officially a party.
“MOMMY! Why are you taking a bath? Can I come in?”
“No, buddy. Go find your dad. Where is he, anyway?”
“Okay, Mommy, be right back.”
“Perfect.”
The second guest asks, “Mommy, do you like taking a bath?”
“Sometimes more than others.”
UG#1 adds, “Mom, the bubbles are disappearing. Are you sure you don’t want a washcloth or something, you know, to…” (pointing towards her chest again)?
“Nope. I’m fine, but I appreciate your concern. Here’s a suggestion: why don’t you get out?”
Just then, UG#3 comes charging in with an enthusiastic grin, moving faster than a race car on the final lap.
“Stop the car! Get out of the car!”
“BUDDY, YOU ARE NOT COMING IN…” (sigh) “Hi, Buddy.”
“I like taking a bath with you, Mommy.”
“Please hand me the washcloth.”
And thus summarizes my attempt at “me time.”
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Summary
This article humorously illustrates the chaotic reality of a mother’s attempt to enjoy a simple bath amidst the interruptions of her children. It highlights the struggle for personal time and the humorous exchanges that occur in the process, reminding us of the challenges many parents face in their daily lives.
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