From the moment of birth, individuals are subjected to measurements and comparisons against an elusive standard of “normal.” We are plotted on growth charts, scrutinized, and categorized, with our results manifesting as numerical values that become identifiers of our identity. The location of these points on a chart starts to define us, but it is within the gap between our true selves and this invisible norm that many of us find ourselves adrift. We often squander precious years trying to traverse this divide, striving to become who we think we ought to be.
The desire to fit into the mold of normalcy is not necessarily our own; it is often imposed by others. Parents, medical professionals, and society at large all have expectations. You either conform to these expectations or you do not, which often leads to efforts to “correct” any perceived deviations from the norm, regardless of whether those deviations are truly problematic. The outcome? Many of us end up feeling inadequate.
“Your measurements are here,” a healthcare provider might say, pointing to a solitary dot on a chart. “But you should be up here.” Their finger glides toward a densely populated cluster that symbolizes the societal ideal.
Unconsciously, we equate our results with self-worth, adjusting our self-image to fit these external metrics. Yet, we are not defined by our measurements or by how others perceive us. However, we often find ourselves placed and displaced in accordance with these values. We navigate our lives through a framework of externally imposed standards, unwittingly passing these beliefs onto the next generation. This invisible standard of normalcy is a construct, yet we accept it as reality due to a pervasive fear that there exists a correct way to exist as human beings, coupled with a deep-seated belief that we might be falling short.
We are solitary beings, with our lives as inscrutable to others as they are to ourselves. Still, we fall into the trap of believing others are navigating this human experience more adeptly than we are. We use them as our benchmarks, unsure if our own existence aligns with what is deemed acceptable. Lacking alternative reference points, we mistakenly judge ourselves against the experiences of others, leading to a cycle of silent comparisons and self-doubt about what constitutes normality.
Many people remain trapped within their assumptions about themselves and those around them, unaware of how skewed these beliefs can be. Fear of judgment, criticism, and the vulnerability of honesty deter individuals from embracing their true selves. To pretend to be anything other than who we are is to succumb to the very standards of normalcy that undermine the rich diversity of human existence. In reality, there is no singular “normal.” The only universal truth about being human is our unique and varied differences. In fact, our differences are what make us “normal.”
This complexity is explored further in Amanda’s ongoing work, which focuses on Anxiety and Difference, drawing insight from these themes. For more insights into navigating parenthood, including discussions on home insemination, check out this informative resource on home insemination kits. Additionally, if you have questions about fertility coverage and related topics, this resource is an excellent guide.
In summary, striving for an unattainable concept of normal can lead to unnecessary self-judgment and anxiety. Embracing our differences is essential for genuine self-acceptance and growth.
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