If 40 Is the New 13, What Does That Make 13?

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In my youth, I found myself distanced from my peers in terms of music choices. While my friend was captivated by Dan Hill’s emotional ballads and spinning records from Bread, I was immersed in the Beatles—hardly a band to be dismissed as too intense. My mother, during my teenage years, wasn’t sitting beside me, reminiscing about U2’s “War” or enthusing over guitar solos.

Fast forward to 2014, and parents everywhere find themselves in a peculiar dialogue with their elementary-aged kids. For instance:

Parent: “Could you add ‘Shake It Off’ to our Sunday playlist on Spotify?”
Child: “Sure, right after I finish this level.”
Parent: “Thanks. (Five minutes later) Time to put the iPad away.”
Child: “But I’m close to getting my stripey next to my wrapped candy!”
Parent (voice rising): “What level are you on? Are you interfering with my level 127?! Hand over the iPad!”
Child: “Mommm! It’s MY turn!”

Candy Crush has become a family pastime. My kids and I are all hooked. Have you tried Tiny Thief? It’s incredibly fun. Phineas and Ferb is a brilliant show, and I find myself enjoying Taylor Swift and all the songs from Frozen—not because I’m forced to, but because I genuinely like them. My children even have a dance routine to Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball,” and they enjoy music from a range of diverse artists, from Dolly Parton to Arcade Fire.

It seems that 8 is now the new 15, and 40 is the new 13. It’s fascinating how much cultural ground we share, but it raises a question: Are parents adopting a younger persona, or are children maturing faster? There are moments when I wonder if this trend is a desperate attempt by adults to evade the reality of aging and diminishing relevance. We might be the proverbial elderly person in a miniskirt, clinging to our smartphones while elbowing the youth aside. In doing so, we risk raising kids who mimic adult behaviors yet don’t have their own unique experiences to draw from.

If parents and children are consuming the same media and sharing playlists, what exclusive experiences will the younger generation claim? Is there enough rebellion left for them against parents who share their interests? Will they still resent us if we take them to see Katy Perry live? It’s as if the traditional generational divide is blurring—where once we had milestones to differentiate us, we now find ourselves enjoying the same things.

Reflecting on my own upbringing, by the time my mother reached my current age, she was liberated. She could indulge in her musical preferences without societal judgment, wearing sweatpants to any occasion because she had earned that right. Today, however, there’s an expectation for parents not just to be responsible but also to appear effortlessly trendy. The pressure is palpable; we are required to strike a balance between looking youthful and maintaining our credibility.

Children today are savvy, often reminding us to upgrade our devices while we pay bills. They’re effortlessly cool, while we strive to keep pace with their interests. It’s a strange dynamic where we encourage them to be unique, yet we find ourselves emulating them. Are 40-somethings merely insecure, or are we in a vibrant era for youth?

While some may argue the issue is self-inflicted—claiming I should limit my children’s screen time or worry less about fashion—the truth is I enjoy being connected and sharing experiences with my kids. Pop culture today is richer and more engaging than ever, so why would I relinquish that joy? Besides, if I’m at level 400 and they’re just hitting 296, they have no right to scoff at my gaming skills! If they do, I can always teach them the finer points of explosive candy in the game.

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Summary

In conclusion, the generational divide between parents and children is narrowing, leading to shared cultural experiences and interests. As parents, we navigate the challenges of remaining relevant while fostering our children’s individuality. The landscape of parenting is evolving, and the question remains: are we getting younger, or are our kids simply growing up faster?


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