Hello, fellow parents. It’s time for a candid conversation. We’ve crossed paths numerous times—at the park, in the supermarket, outside dance classes, and while rushing to catch the train after a long workday. We exchange pleasantries like “How are you?” and respond with “I’m fine,” but deep down, we both know that’s not the truth.
What we’re really feeling is a mix of exhaustion, anxiety, and frustration. We’re worn out from scrambling to find the ideal snacks for school parties, from burning the midnight oil to create flawless birthday invitations, and from balancing work emails with lunch prep for the next day. Many of us feel unattractive and unkempt because we haven’t found time to apply makeup or get a haircut in months. There’s guilt, too, as our shopping carts brim with sugary cereals and frozen meals instead of the organic fruits and vegetables we aspire to buy.
Each night, we collapse into bed, mentally ticking off the tasks left undone, only to be awakened by the demands of little ones and the incessant ping of new emails, adding to our overwhelming to-do lists. We glance at other parents appearing to glide effortlessly through their days and wonder, how do they manage? And then, there it is—the inner critic whispering harshly, “You’re not good enough,” “You’re completely lost in this parenting journey,” and “You’re failing at this.”
What we long to hear, amidst all this noise, is a soft voice reassuring us: “You’re doing a fine job—really, you are.” But instead, we just smile and say we’re “fine.”
Given the repetitive nature of these exchanges, I propose we drop the charade. Let’s stop responding with “I’m fine” every time someone inquires about our well-being. Let’s seek help and practice kindness towards ourselves. Let’s allow ourselves to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Let’s abandon the race of competitive parenting. Let’s cease the discussions about whether we can “have it all” because, spoiler alert: no one can.
Some might argue that our children deserve our best, not just “good enough.” But let me clarify: being a good enough parent doesn’t equate to loving or caring for our children any less. It simply means relieving ourselves of the pressure to be perfect. Good enough parenting is not about neglecting our responsibilities or letting our children fend for themselves; it’s about releasing the need for comparison and the facade of perfection.
Let’s be real—some days, just getting everyone out the door with shoes on and matching socks feels like an Olympic feat. We don’t need the added stress of crafting elaborate lunches or ensuring the kids wear freshly laundered clothes. At least they’re dressed, right? It’s hard enough to instill kindness, honesty, and empathy in our kids—why not ease up on ourselves in the process?
So what if we’ve had pizza and baby carrots for dinner three nights in a row? Good enough! If date night consists of donning our best yoga pants, getting the kids to bed early, and binge-watching our favorite series, that’s also good enough! If we’ve packed Lunchables and Capri Sun for a week, that’s perfectly fine! If we’ve only managed to shower twice in a week, that’s acceptable too (thank goodness for baseball caps and ponytails). If our only workout is chasing a toddler to get them dressed? Good enough!
Let’s face it: parenting is incredibly challenging. Maintaining the illusion that it’s not, and pretending it doesn’t sometimes feel overwhelming, is exhausting. So why not assume good intentions for ourselves and others? We’re all striving to raise compassionate individuals, and we’re doing it with all our hearts.
As my friend once wisely stated, “Every day, I fail at something; it’s just a question of what.” We’re all learning as parents, and this journey has a steep learning curve, often moving in a two-steps-forward, one-step-back manner. While seeking improvement is admirable, chasing perfection is an exercise in futility. We have enough stress and obligations; why continue to pile on the pressure by not meeting unrealistic standards, like providing an all-organic diet or throwing extravagant birthday parties?
I, for one, am done with striving for perfection. I’m focusing on being a good enough parent. And you know what? Once I shifted my mindset from perfection to simply being good enough, I finally began to hear those gentle reassurances: “You’re doing a fine job.” And guess what? So are you!
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Summary
In conclusion, parenting is a challenging yet rewarding journey, and it’s okay to embrace being “good enough” rather than striving for perfection. By acknowledging our struggles and supporting one another in our parenting endeavors, we can create a more compassionate environment for ourselves and our children.
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