At times, I find myself overlooking the fact that my son has Down syndrome. His vibrant personality, characterized by dramatic two-year-old tantrums, an infectious grin, and an adventurous spirit, often distracts me. Ethan is headstrong yet possesses a gentle heart. When his older sister, Lily, is in the midst of an emotional breakdown, he is quick to offer comfort. Climbing into laps, he gently touches cheeks with his tiny fingers, conveying his affection in the sweetest of ways.
However, Ethan is also quite the little whirlwind; he loves to rummage through drawers, scattering items everywhere. When I confront him about the mess, he ducks his head, peering up with a mischievous grin that seems to say, “I’m sorry.” Sometimes he helps clean up, but often he’ll wander off to find new things to explore. His love for music is boundless; as soon as he hears a tune, he’s dancing, eager to join in a round of familiar songs like “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” regardless of how upset he may have been just moments prior. Ethan can turn any moment into a celebration, even dancing during the fireworks on the Fourth of July.
In these moments, I forget that he has Down syndrome. I see him as he is: my son, Lily’s brother—a spirited, determined little boy who is nothing short of extraordinary.
Confronting Misunderstandings
Yet, there are times when I am reminded in less-than-gentle ways. For instance, during a recent visit to a store, the cashier gave me a sorrowful look and whispered, “I bet you wish you had known before he was born. You know they have tests for that now…” The shock and anger surged through me. I imagined confronting her directly, but instead, I opted for a different approach.
With a disarming smile, I responded, “Isn’t it much harder to get rid of them after they’re born? Trust me, I’ve tried…” Her expression faltered, eyes widening in disbelief. I leaned closer and said softly, “So, you believe it’s acceptable to terminate a pregnancy but not to harm a living child? For me, there’s no distinction. Just so you know, we were fully informed during my pregnancy, and I would never allow harm to come to either of my children, at any point.”
It’s easy to forget that some people see not Ethan, but rather a “Downs child.” They perceive the burden it places on families and assume he must be suffering or incapable. I forget this until I catch a glimpse of pity in someone’s eyes or overhear unkind remarks.
I realize that it isn’t their fault; they simply do not understand. They haven’t experienced Ethan’s infectious laughter or been touched by the warmth of his smile. They haven’t witnessed the fierce love his sister has for him, despite her protests about “boy babies.” They have not cheered for him as he reaches new milestones, feeling their parental pride swell.
Prior to Ethan, my knowledge of Down syndrome came solely from nursing textbooks, which left me in tears, imagining a fragile, non-functional child. I didn’t know.
Seeing Beyond the Diagnosis
Ultimately, they are just Ethan, Lily, Max, or Ava to us, and that is how it should be. For those interested in exploring more about home insemination techniques, consider checking out our article on the At Home Insemination Kit, or if you’re looking for a specific product, the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo is a reliable option. Furthermore, for additional information on pregnancy and fertility, I recommend listening to the Cleveland Clinic’s podcast on IVF and Fertility Preservation.
In summary, while I occasionally forget Ethan’s diagnosis, I see him for who he truly is—my wonderful son, beloved by our family. It’s essential to acknowledge that others may not have the same perspective, but understanding and kindness can bridge that gap.
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