Signs You Might Be a Parent

1. You find yourself correcting your colleagues and friends when they neglect to say “please” or “thank you.”
2. Cutting your own food into tiny, manageable pieces has become second nature.
3. You often hum the tune “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere…” while tackling the dishes.
4. You would seriously consider parting with a limb for a brand new, fully loaded minivan.
5. A solo trip to Target on a Saturday night feels like a thrilling escapade.
6. At one point, you’ve attempted to re-roll an entire spool of unspooled toilet paper.
7. You’ve faced the dilemma of choosing between an extra ten minutes of sleep or getting through the day without a shower.
8. Staying up until 10 PM feels like a late-night adventure.
9. Sleeping in until 8 AM is now considered sleeping in excessively late.
10. You spell out words to communicate even when there are no K-I-D-S present to overhear your S-H-I-T.
11. Discussing bowel movements has become a serious topic in your conversations, akin to forensic investigators.
12. You’ve hidden in a closet to enjoy a cookie or sip wine in solitude.
13. You instinctively express your pride to your partner after they successfully use the toilet.
14. You’ve licked your fingers to clean off something from your boss’s face.
15. You think it’s perfectly fine to give a discreet gesture of annoyance to kids when they aren’t looking.
16. You’ve found yourself scooping vomit out of your bra.
17. Walking around all day with remnants of barf on your back has become a normal occurrence.
18. There’s often more food beneath your kitchen table than on it.
19. You’ve extracted something other than boogers from someone else’s nostrils.
20. If you and your partner feel more like a wrestling duo or zoo-keepers than romantic partners, you might be a parent.
21. You consider shaving your legs every two weeks to be a regular grooming schedule.
22. Other drivers have caught you passionately singing “Hakuna Matata” at a stoplight.
23. The top rack of your dishwasher is filled with brightly colored plastic items, leaving no room for adult glasses.
24. You can engage in an enthusiastic, one-sided conversation with an inanimate object.

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In summary, the experience of parenthood is often filled with humorous and unexpected moments that transform your daily life. From mundane tasks to unique challenges, the signs of parenting can be both entertaining and relatable.