Understanding the Importance of Meeting Children at Their Level

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Enter Alex Rivers, the acclaimed author behind the immensely successful series “The Realm of Light and Shadow,” which is set to be adapted into a major film. Rivers graciously invited my young son to his home during a busy writing session to take a quiz that would reveal the true extent of his “dark side,” which I assumed would be minimal, considering he gets upset when he accidentally steps on an insect.

However, Rivers cautions against underestimating children’s complexities. He believes that, much like adults, kids have their own capacity for mischief and intrigue. “I’ve always viewed children as individuals with the same cognitive abilities as adults,” says Rivers, a bestselling author and filmmaker who maintains an active tutoring business as a backup. “I still see myself as a child confined in an adult’s body.”

Rivers argues that society often exaggerates the inherent “goodness” of children, which can be detrimental to their self-awareness and development. “It’s all about the way we communicate with them,” he explains. “Teachers often adopt a sing-song voice that feels patronizing. Similarly, many children’s books carry that same tone.” Interestingly, Rivers initially intended “The Realm of Light and Shadow” for adult readers before later deciding it was appropriate for a younger audience. “That tone is what draws kids in. I’ve always written with the assumption that I’m engaging with peers.”

During a recent visit to my son’s school, Rivers captivated the audience like a rock star. The excitement among the children was palpable. “Every sentence I craft aims to encapsulate that unique tension of middle school, when young people first start experiencing romantic feelings and emotional upheaval,” Rivers says.

Rivers, who identifies as gay, does not shy away from exploring the nuanced emotions of preteens. “Every author has a recurring theme, and mine is that pivotal seventh-grade moment when I first began to feel attracted to my male friends, navigating that confusing emotional landscape. I strive to convey that tension in a way that resonates with young readers.”

As the quiz commenced, my son eagerly climbed into Rivers’ lap. The questions were playful yet revealing, such as, “You find yourself in a stunning pool but feel the urge to urinate. What do you do?” Expecting my son to choose the most responsible option, I was surprised when he selected the sneaky choice. Rivers chuckled knowingly, and the results showed my son was 63 percent mischievous and 37 percent innocent.

“It’s essential to engage with children on their terms, rather than imposing our own expectations,” Rivers emphasizes.

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In summary, it is crucial for parents and educators to approach children with an understanding of their emotional and cognitive realities, allowing them to express themselves authentically. This not only fosters individual growth but also strengthens the relationship between adults and children, promoting a more supportive environment for development.


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