When people inquire about my well-being, my typical response is, “I have no complaints.” And truly, I don’t. We have a safe home, food on our plates, a loving partner, and healthy children. My intention is to cultivate gratitude rather than dwell on negativity.
Recently, I’ve observed that complaining has become a common form of conversation, a way to bond through shared grievances. We find ourselves grumbling about the weather, the slow pace of service at restaurants, or the frustratingly long carpool lines. I am no exception; I often join in. I might grumble about the heat, my struggle with weight loss (especially since I’m not ready to part with my favorite foods), or the exhausting task of driving my son to hockey practice through rush-hour traffic.
Everyone experiences tough days, but I’ve been making an effort to curb my complaints. Before I voice another frustration, I reflect on my friend, Lucy.
Remembering Lucy
I met Lucy in seventh grade. She was exceptionally bright, especially in subjects like English and History. Her kindness, humor, and gentle demeanor drew people to her. After high school, she attended Elm College and eventually became an English teacher, inspiring young minds with literature. She had three sons and stayed connected with our alumni group. Tragically, during her third pregnancy, she was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. Just a couple of years later, she passed away at the age of 39, leaving behind a two-year-old.
The last time I saw Lucy was at a birthday gathering for a mutual friend’s child. Despite her battle with cancer, she radiated joy, engaging with her children and those around her. Her quiet strength was palpable; she truly listened and never seemed rushed. Unfortunately, her cancer returned with a vengeance, and by Thanksgiving, she was gone.
On days when I feel overwhelmed and want to complain about trivial matters, I remember Lucy. As I stand at the sink doing dishes, I remind myself that she would give anything for the chance to scrub pots and pans again. When the alarm rings early on school days, I think of how Lucy would gladly trade places with me to wake her kids. Even during long car rides to activities, I remind myself how fortunate I am to be in those mundane moments.
I’m striving to be more aware of my words and to cultivate positive conversations by focusing on the good rather than the negative. It can be challenging to shift the dialogue, but it’s a conscious choice I am committed to making.
A Positive Perspective
This reminds me of a father I encounter at my son’s hockey practices. Whenever I greet him and ask how he’s doing, he responds with a cheerful, “Living the dream!” He says it with a touch of humor, yet he’s absolutely correct. We are living the life that many, like Lucy, could only dream of. So, the next time someone asks how I’m doing, I hope to respond with, “Living the dream! I can’t complain at all.”
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In summary, while it’s easy to slip into a pattern of complaining, we can choose to focus on gratitude and positivity. Reflecting on those who would cherish our daily challenges helps us appreciate our lives more fully.
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