Updated: March 22, 2021
Originally Published: November 28, 2014
In literary terms, “poetic justice” refers to a fitting punishment for one’s actions. For instance, in Dante’s depiction of the Ninth Circle of Hell, those who create division are condemned to eternal dismemberment. Similarly, a criminal ensnared by their own trap exemplifies this concept.
This notion extends to our habits as well. For positive behaviors, the reward is simply the act itself, echoing Ralph Waldo Emerson’s assertion that “the reward of a thing well done is to have done it.” However, the irony deepens with negative habits. A colleague recently expressed, “I feel overwhelmed by my bad habits, yet it’s my bad habits that fuel my anxiety.”
Research suggests that some individuals, particularly women concerned about their financial situations, engage in “retail therapy” to alleviate their anxiety through shopping. Likewise, those who gamble to distract themselves from financial worries often find themselves in a vicious cycle. Procrastinators, when faced with unfinished tasks, may feel so anxious that they abandon their work altogether. As a contributor once noted, “I feel stressed because I’m not accomplishing anything, so I get a massage to relax. But then I don’t accomplish anything because I’m too busy getting a massage.”
Interestingly, individuals who exhibit less guilt and show themselves compassion in the face of failure tend to regain self-control more effectively. In his memoir, Journey to Health, Jack Reynolds recounts how he promised his ailing father to lose weight. Ironically, his anxiety over this promise led him to indulge in two hefty sandwiches for lunch that very day.
Contrary to popular belief, feelings of guilt and shame often hinder adherence to healthy habits. Instead of motivating individuals to change, these feelings can push them towards the very behaviors that cause distress. This creates a cycle of negative reinforcement—a true poetic justice of sorts.
In contrast, those who approach their failures with kindness and understanding are better equipped to resist unhealthy habits. Instead of perceiving setbacks as indicators of weakness or lack of discipline, we can view them as integral to the habit formation journey. Reassuring ourselves with phrases like, “It happens,” “We’ve all done it,” or “What I do most days is what truly matters,” fosters a healthier mindset. Such self-encouragement is a more effective safeguard than self-criticism.
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In summary, understanding the interplay between our habits and emotions can empower us to break free from unhealthy cycles. By adopting a compassionate approach towards our setbacks, we can foster resilience and create a pathway toward positive change.
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