In an enlightening moment with my three eldest children, I found myself doling out spoonfuls of icing as a treat for their enthusiastic smiles during a family photo. Yes, I admit, I use incentives like these, and I’ve long abandoned any guilt about it. As they squealed with delight, their faces smeared with sugary goodness, my oldest exclaimed, “You’re the best mom ever!” His innocent praise briefly filled me with joy—until I realized that it came with a deeper implication.
Just the night before, I had firmly told him “no” to a request, and his disappointment was palpable. He had been genuinely upset, struggling to grasp why I wouldn’t allow him this small indulgence. In that moment, I stood my ground, reinforcing my boundaries even as he expressed his frustration. I wondered if, to him, my love was measured by the treats I permitted. The laughter and joy in front of me contrasted sharply with the upset child from the previous evening.
This reflection led me to craft a message I wanted my kids to understand, not just for them but as a reminder for myself too.
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