I embarked on the journey of motherhood with the awareness that I would be in constant demand. However, I was entirely unprepared for the extent of that demand. Caring for a child is a significant strain on both the body and mind. Yet, I chose to have another and then another, fully aware of the dwindling free time that awaited me. It’s a sacrifice we make for our children and families.
Some days, I embrace this reality without a second thought. I understand that the intensity of needing will fluctuate; children will always require their parents. Although the nature of those needs will evolve—eventually making room for friendships and individual pursuits—there are moments when I yearn for a break from their dependence.
The idea of engaging in a beloved hobby without interruptions—free from requests to open jars or bandage minor scrapes, or helping with homework while preparing dinner—seems almost like a distant memory. At times, I fantasize about locking myself in the car or escaping to a nearby hotel, where I could stretch out on a soft bed and reconnect with myself. After over 13 years in motherhood, I have realized that carving out time for myself is essential, regardless of how fatigued I feel or how busy my family life gets.
This realization led me to spend a late night chatting with a friend on social media while my family slept soundly. The previous evening, I struggled to keep my eyes open while engrossed in an incredible book. Yes, I could succumb to sleep, but the tranquility of the night, with my cozy comforter wrapped around me and the moonlight filtering through the window, was too precious to miss.
I’ve stayed up late sewing quilts, binge-watching home improvement shows until the early hours, and even tackled organizing the Tupperware cupboard when I should’ve been asleep. Completing a project in one go is invigorating.
Each weekend morning, I face the decision of either lingering in bed as dawn breaks or quietly slipping outside for a run. I cherish those moments alone with my thoughts while my children catch up on sleep, allowing me the freedom to explore nature at my own pace. Returning home from my run, I feel rejuvenated, embracing the idea that sacrificing sleep for “me time” ultimately makes me a better person. Opting for rest in the past has often left me feeling just as drained, so I now prioritize feeling refreshed.
I love being needed by my children; it’s a fundamental aspect of my role as a mother, and I excel at giving them my all. However, I also recognize the importance of my own needs. I must connect with myself without distractions to be the nurturing and engaged mother my children deserve.
Mothers often navigate their days in a state of half-connection with their true selves. We were individuals long before we became parents. While our children enhance who we are, we must not neglect the essence of who we were prior to motherhood. That version of ourselves still exists and deserves to be acknowledged.
For me, this treasured time comes at night, after the kids are tucked in and the house is quiet.
In summary, finding late-night moments for self-reflection and enjoyment is crucial for maintaining a balanced life as a mother. It allows for personal growth and rejuvenation, ultimately benefiting both me and my family.
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