Recently, my youngest son, Max, assisted me in assembling a complex bathroom cabinet with seemingly endless parts. Unlike me, he doesn’t rely on instructions; he thrives in this chaos. He eagerly unwraps each piece, organizes them meticulously—sorting is essential for him—before diving into the construction process.
“Don’t worry, Mom, we can figure this out,” he assures me, casting a quick glance at the assembly images. He picks up various components, examining and feeling each one before he starts fitting them together. As he pauses to strategize, he has developed a new habit of cracking his knuckles. This is a welcome change from past behaviors, like pinching his neck or his previous finger-sucking while playing with himself. I’m relieved he’s moved on from those as we’ve made significant progress.
Once again, he rescued my sanity by tackling this daunting task. I’ve learned the hard way that purchasing items labeled “some assembly required” is risky, but I can’t resist the allure of a beautiful piece of furniture I find online, especially knowing he enjoys helping. Together, we’ve constructed a desk, a dresser, two cabinets, and a chair, with only a few moments of frustration on my part.
Max never ceases to amaze me with his sharp wit and playful spirit. He is both compassionate and intelligent, but his constant energy can sometimes test my patience.
His teachers have been instrumental in helping us navigate his restlessness. They were the first to inform me that he needs movement to truly thrive academically. In class, he sits on a large, bouncy ball, and students now have the option to chew gum and utilize “fidgets”—small stress balls—to channel their energy without causing disruptions. This support has greatly benefited Max, and I’m grateful for their understanding. Although he still requires daily reminders to stay focused, he’s made strides in impulse control, and I owe much of this progress to the educators who helped me realize he isn’t simply being difficult; he has a genuine need for movement. I’ve incorporated their strategies at home, and the difference has been remarkable.
When we attend sporting events—frequent outings due to his older siblings—Max dreads the lengthy periods of sitting still. We never leave without a stress ball, gum, and a book. While he still squirms, he focuses better when he can bite down on his gum and squeeze the ball as if it were vital for his survival. He finds comfort in wearing a coat, claiming it keeps him warm and relaxed, which sometimes leads to him wearing his winter coat to bed.
Even during movies, no matter how excited he is to see the latest release, he needs a fidget toy to keep his hands busy alongside his snacks. I watch him as he gazes at the screen, lost in concentration while squeezing the ball. On the rare occasions we forget it, I notice how much harder it is for him to settle down and enjoy the film.
Long car rides used to be a nightmare until I realized he needed some way to move while secured in his seatbelt. Homework can be a challenge too; he often has to walk around or bounce on a stool at the kitchen island to complete it. He loves sitting on big bouncy balls as well, which helps him stay engaged.
I’ve come to understand that many children are similarly restless. Just because Max needs to fidget more than his older siblings, who can sit still without issue, doesn’t mean he’s “bad.” All children require movement; they thrive on rolling down hills, climbing, running, jumping, and dancing. My son simply needs more physical activity to channel his energy effectively.
For parents with similarly fidgety children, I empathize with the challenges that arise when their movements become a source of stress for us. It’s easy to feel frustrated, especially when I know he can’t control his impulses. No amount of biking or tag games seems to diminish his need to move—he simply needs to be active when he’s awake.
There is a significant connection between memory and movement. Max learns more effectively through hands-on experiences than through reflection alone, and I must practice patience, allowing him to absorb knowledge in his unique way. The upside is that I will always have a dedicated assistant for any spontaneous trips to IKEA.
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Summary
Managing life with an energetic child like Max can be challenging, but understanding his need for movement has been transformative. With support from teachers and strategies implemented at home, I’ve learned to appreciate his unique learning style and the joy he brings. Every child deserves the opportunity to thrive in their own way.
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