“I owe you an apology. When I first saw you walk in with your children, I made a quick judgment… and I just had to express my regret.”
Last weekend, I entered a local eatery accompanied by three of my children. I was dressed in an off-the-shoulder top, skinny jeans, open-toed heels, and a touch of lipstick, which perhaps led some to form preconceived notions about my parenting style.
As a 33-year-old mother of four kids under the age of nine, I often spend my time in sweatpants or loungewear, especially on ordinary days. Unless it’s for church or a special event, I don’t typically go all out for appearances. However, that particular evening was different. My husband had planned a special outing for our youngest child, and I decided to take our older three out for dinner followed by some fun at their favorite arcade.
Upon entering the restaurant next to the arcade, I noticed a few curious glances. This is a common occurrence for me, given the lively nature of transporting my kids from place to place. However, on this occasion, they were relatively calm, and our laughter blended seamlessly with the ambient sounds of the arcade.
It appeared that one woman, however, had formed an opinion about me immediately, judging me based solely on my appearance. I can only guess what her thoughts were, but her apology suggested she assumed I was more focused on my looks than on my children.
Perhaps she saw me scoop my 4-year-old onto my lap when she wanted to be closer. Maybe she noticed my playful interactions with my kids, ensuring our silliness stayed within the bounds of restaurant decorum. Perhaps she was watching when we bowed our heads to pray before our meal, or when my little ones hugged me tightly and played with my hair while we waited.
It could have been while I hopped from one arcade game to another, joining in the fun with my kids, that she reevaluated her initial impressions.
Then came the moment I’ll always remember: a tap on my shoulder and her sincere words, “I’m sorry. I judged you when I saw you walk in with your kids…and I just had to apologize.”
I took a moment to absorb her words, understanding the weight of her admission. Instead of probing for further explanation, I gently placed my hand on her arm, smiled, and replied, “Thank you. That truly means a lot. You didn’t have to say anything, but I’m glad you did.”
She smiled back, saying, “I needed to. Thank you for opening my eyes tonight.” I hugged her, then ran off to catch up with my kids once again.
I had never met this woman before, and it’s unlikely I will again. I don’t know her name or anything else about her, but she imparted a valuable lesson to me. In our journey through motherhood, there’s no space for judgement or assumptions. However, there’s always room for kindness and understanding.
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In summary, this encounter serves as a reminder that we are all navigating the complexities of motherhood together. Judgments can be quick to form, but compassion and forgiveness should always prevail.
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