I live with ADHD and an anxiety disorder, both of which often lead to social awkwardness. My therapist assures me that it’s quite common to experience both conditions, making me feel less like an isolated case and more like one of many navigating the challenges of social interactions. You might remember that kid in class who always shouted out unrelated answers; well, that kid is me. Even as an adult, I often find myself blissfully unaware of social cues, which can be incredibly frustrating and, let’s face it, downright awkward.
1. Awareness of My Odd Behavior Is Lacking
In the popular series Sherlock, the character Sherlock Holmes often disregards social cues. I wish I had a friend like John Watson to gently nudge me when I’m being socially oblivious. Frequently, I find myself lost in thought, unaware that someone is trying to engage me in conversation. I might even have an entire discussion with someone I’ve met before, only to realize halfway through that I’m repeating myself.
2. Constant Worry About My Behavior
Having faced enough awkward moments, I’m always concerned about unwritten social rules. For example, if I see a familiar waitress at the mall, I’ll hesitate—should I greet her? How long should our chat last? While most people navigate these situations seamlessly, I often find myself praying for a sudden emergency to divert my attention.
3. I’m Not Ignoring You
I have a few social quirks that may give the impression I’m uninterested. I constantly check my phone—thanks to ADHD, it provides a rush that’s hard to resist. Even if I seem distracted, I’m still fully engaged in our conversation. Unfortunately, I may also be glancing around to keep tabs on my kids and their antics, which can be distracting.
4. My Friends Share My Awkwardness
Throughout my life, I’ve gravitated towards other “quirky” individuals. In school, I hung out with the misfits, and now as a parent, I find myself surrounded by fellow “weird moms.” Our shared interests often include unique hobbies and obscure television shows. We may zone out during conversations, yet we bond over our shared experiences and interests.
5. Concern for My Children’s Future
Fortunately, my partner is relatively grounded, which gives me hope for our children. I worry they might inherit my social quirks, such as struggling to relate to their peers. For instance, when one of my kids can’t stop talking about historical figures, I can’t help but wonder if they’ll have friends who appreciate their passions.
6. Memory Lapses Are Common
When I say I forget things, I mean I may not remember meeting you at all. It’s a small miracle if I recall the names of your children or anything else that would make for smooth small talk. This realization often leads me to fidget, check my phone, or avoid eye contact, which isn’t an inviting behavior in social settings.
7. Unexpected Interruptions
Unlike most people, whose thoughts flow in a straight line, my mind often takes sudden detours. I might blurt out an unrelated comment mid-discussion, like recalling my husband’s forgetfulness regarding trash day while discussing parenting methods. Friends usually adapt, but others may view me as erratic.
8. Compliments Can Be Misunderstood
When I see something that catches my eye, I tend to express my admiration openly, even to strangers. However, I often second-guess myself, fearing that I’ve overstepped social boundaries or made someone uncomfortable.
9. I Relive Conversations
After our chat, I’m likely replaying our interaction in my mind, scrutinizing every comment I made that might have seemed odd. More often than not, I fixate on the wrong details, convincing myself that you must think poorly of me.
10. Reading Social Cues Is a Challenge
Just as I struggle to convey my feelings, understanding yours can be equally difficult. I often misinterpret others’ demeanor, mistaking gruffness for hostility, which leads to a cycle of self-doubt until I remind myself that not everyone is as they seem.
11. Monologues Are My Specialty
I can easily drift into lengthy monologues, often sharing far too much personal information. My casual acquaintances might not need to know every detail about my parenting choices or my eclectic interests, yet I sometimes forget what’s appropriate.
In summary, being socially awkward presents numerous challenges—from making new friends to navigating everyday encounters. The fear of saying the wrong thing or coming off as strange can be isolating. However, it’s essential to recognize that many people share these experiences. So, while it can feel lonely, remember that you’re not alone in your social struggles.
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