By: Sarah Thompson
I once prided myself on having a resilient stomach. Blood, whether mine or someone else’s, didn’t faze me, and while the smell of vomit was unpleasant, it rarely made me sick. I could even manage to discuss bodily functions with my partner without flinching. Cleaning up after our dog, despite being unpleasant, was something I had handled.
But I had my limits. The thought of loose teeth grossed me out, and I could hardly tolerate the smell of urine in alleyways. I once attempted to clean up after our dog’s mess and ended up retching instead. My husband was always the one tackling the less pleasant aspects of pet ownership.
Then, I became a mother. Suddenly, my tolerance for grossness skyrocketed. While those without kids might acknowledge that children can be dirty, they don’t really grasp the full extent until they live with one—especially a toddler. You’ll find yourself doing things you once thought were utterly revolting.
You Will Remove Poop from Unlikely Places.
Non-moms have a vague notion that diaper changes involve cleaning up messes, but they don’t realize the specifics. Diapers can harbor poop that gets lodged in the most unexpected crevices, from tiny genitals to the folds of their skin. As a mother, you’ll find yourself gently digging it out, often needing multiple wipes. It’s a job that will make your pre-mom self cringe, but it’s part of the package.
You Will Get Poop on Your Hands.
There are moments when a diaper fails, and your baby ends up covered in poop from head to toe. You’ll have to wrestle them out of their clothes—typically the nice ones you planned to wear for a special occasion. As you wipe away the mess, you might inadvertently get some on your hand, but instead of being horrified, you’ll continue cleaning it off as if it’s just another day in your life.
Household Cleaners Become Your Best Friends.
While it’s unlikely your child will intentionally smear poop on the walls, accidents happen. Diaper mishaps may lead to messes in the training potty, and you’ll find yourself searching for the most effective cleaners. If you have boys, expect to deal with urine everywhere—on the floor, the seat, and even the towels. You’ll learn which products keep your bathroom smelling fresh amidst the chaos.
You Will Catch Vomit with Your Hands.
It’s a common scene: a child is sick, and you instinctively hold out your hands to catch the vomit before it spreads everywhere. It will be warm and disgusting, but in that moment, you’ll realize it’s easier to clean your hands than to deal with the aftermath on the couch or in the car.
You Will Suck Snot Out of Tiny Noses.
Enter the NoseFrida, a device that will become your best friend during cold season. You’ll place one end in your baby’s nose and the other in your mouth (thankfully separated by a barrier), and you’ll suck out the snot with determination. What once would have made you gag now feels like just another task.
You Will Deal with Earwax.
If you have kids, you might find yourself regularly cleaning out their ears. Armed with Q-tips, you’ll scrape out the sticky residue while they smile without a care in the world. Your former self would have never imagined doing this, but now it’s just part of the routine.
You Will Get Covered in Blood.
In a terrifying moment, your child might fall and injure themselves, leading to a bloodbath that covers both you and them. You’ll rush to the ER, and your clothing will bear the marks of the chaos.
Touching Snot? No Problem.
When a blob of snot clings to your child’s face and you have no wipes, you may simply wipe it off with your hand. This is a far cry from what you used to consider acceptable behavior, but now it’s just part of being a mom.
You Will Clean Up After Messy Adventures.
As a parent, you’ll regularly face the aftermath of messy playdates—whether it’s avocado in neck folds or spaghetti sauce in ear canals. What once would have been repulsive becomes just another reason to give your child a bath.
You may have thought your stomach was strong, but motherhood transforms your tolerance for grossness. It’s a beautiful, chaotic, and yes, often disgusting journey. You learn to embrace it because, in the end, it’s all part of the joy of being a parent.
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In summary, motherhood is a journey filled with unexpected challenges and messy moments that test your limits, but ultimately, it’s a rewarding experience that will strengthen your resilience in ways you never imagined.
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