As a mother, I never set out to be perceived as negligent. Each morning, I don’t wake up wondering, “How can I harm my children today?” I’m well-acquainted with the opinions swirling around the internet, and I’ve become a seasoned participant in the endless mommy debates. If I fail to achieve perfection in all aspects of parenting, it seems to imply that I don’t truly care for my children—or worse, that I’m unworthy of being their mother. But the reality isn’t about real harm; it’s about the everyday choices we make that might attract unwarranted judgment. Here are nine things I do that might raise eyebrows, yet I stand by them wholeheartedly.
1. Assessing My Kids’ Faces
You might judge my children based on the remnants of their meals smeared across their faces. Perhaps they had peanut butter or chocolate milk, leaving them with a messy look. I had every intention to clean them up, but life happened—lost shoes, a toddler letting the dogs out, and even a flower-picking adventure. By the time we reached the store, I was reminded of their “crud mustaches.” They may appear unkempt, but trust me, they’re well-loved.
2. Kids Running Wild in Stores
You may be surprised to see my children darting through the aisles of a store. Their behavior reflects typical childhood exuberance, especially the excitement of being in a new environment. A tantrum over a desired toy can lead to disapproving glances from onlookers, but this is just part of the parenting journey. I promise, this chaos is normal, and I don’t need your assistance.
3. Bathroom Independence
My 7-year-old is capable of guiding his younger brother to the restroom. However, I often receive stern reminders from establishments about keeping children close. “Stick with me, or you’ll face consequences,” I joked with my eldest. He then asked about what “consequences” meant, and I realized I had a teaching moment on my hands.
4. Quick Car Stop
When I need to pump gas, I sometimes leave my kids in the car for a minute. I ensure the vehicle is locked, parked in the shade, and cooled down before dashing inside. It’s a quick errand, but I can’t help feeling nervous about someone possibly reporting me. According to my state’s laws, it’s permissible as long as the engine isn’t running. Still, I can imagine the judgment flooding in.
5. Questionable Fashion Choices
My youngest son loves a Zootopia shirt I found on sale, even if it has “girl” sleeves. Meanwhile, my middle child sports a tight purple shirt featuring superheroes, paired with plaid pants and a fedora. Not exactly a fashion masterpiece, but it’s not about style—he didn’t choose it, after all. Let the judgment roll in!
6. Bumps and Bruises
My 3-year-old has had his share of scrapes, each requiring a Paw Patrol Band-Aid to cover various injuries—a goose egg from falling, a cut from gymnastics, and a self-applied bandage that obstructs his nose. Though he may look like a battlefield survivor, rest assured he’s perfectly fine.
7. Loud Parenting in Stores
My youngest rides in the cart, while the others whirl around like energetic orbs. I often find myself shouting reminders to stay away from merchandise or to stop chasing each other. Watching them run amok can elicit stares, and I’m certain some might think I’m a terrible parent. But this is just part of managing the chaos.
8. Unconventional Meals
My kids occasionally enjoy snack foods for lunch or breakfast—microwave pancakes, fast-food fries, or even leftover fried rice. I once served them frozen fruit and pickles because that’s what they wanted. Some moms applaud this, while others gasp in horror. Either way, I’m navigating my own path.
9. Nature Calls
When my 3-year-old urgently needs to relieve himself, he sometimes resorts to peeing on a tree. Yes, he might drop his pants entirely in the process, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I ensure my older son holds it until we find a proper bathroom, even if it leads to protests.
I know there will always be someone ready to scrutinize my parenting choices. But I’m confident in my abilities as a mother. I ensure my kids eat their vegetables, engage in educational play, and explore museums and parks. While judgment may come my way, I refuse to change my approach because my children are thriving, and so am I.
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In summary, parenting is filled with choices that may attract criticism. However, I find joy in the chaos and aim to create a happy environment for my children, regardless of outside opinions.
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