Updated: June 10, 2021
Originally Published: May 4, 2017
Do you relish the feel of mud between your toes? Do you also enjoy surrendering nearly all your weekends to perch on hard bleachers, sipping mediocre coffee from the concession stand while your child complains about the chill? If so, youth sports might just be your new best friend!
Well, not exactly for you — it’s more for your little one. But don’t kid yourself; you’ll be deeply entrenched in every aspect. Signing your child up for a sport demands considerable commitment, especially when it comes to ensuring they’re dressed appropriately and out the door on time for practice. From managing gear to coaxing them to stay on the field instead of lounging around, your involvement will be paramount. So, why not chuckle at the absurdities alongside other humorous parents on Twitter?
1. Reality Check.
Take a group of high school freshmen on an early Saturday morning field trip to an 8:00 AM soccer match and observe how that impacts their romantic lives.
2. Pack a Sleeping Bag.
At least you’ll be at the same field. As I type this, my partner and I are texting updates from opposite ends of town, bemoaning the cold — mostly just me, of course.
3. Wait, It’s Wednesday Again?
After years of being a sports mom, I can vouch for the fact that we go through a ton of Febreze each season. Feel free to take this pro tip!
4. Reality of Competition.
It’s easy to get caught up in the competitive vibe, but let’s remember that many kids on the team are still figuring out basic hygiene. Keep your expectations realistic.
5. Inspirational Coaches.
Most coaches are just fellow parents stepping up, and as long as there’s no inappropriate language, we’re all for their motivational pep talks. And if a curse word slips out? We get it.
6. Sock Sorting.
I just organized our collection of sports socks and realized we have a bizarre assortment of colors. Naturally, we’re missing the one my son needs for baseball this season.
7. There’s Always Tomorrow.
Not every child will shine as an athlete, but we’ll always need skilled estheticians to help us deal with those pesky chin hairs. Keep practicing, kiddo!
8. The Survival Guide.
This seems like essential knowledge to navigate the world of youth sports.
9. Flush the Fees.
Just go ahead and toss that $75 registration fee down the soccer field’s porta-potty. It’s a quicker and less painful way to cope than enduring the entire season.
10. The Free Spirit.
We all recognize this child. Some of us may have even been that child.
11. Oops.
Let’s hope nobody saw that slip-up.
12. Dinner Time Realizations.
“Isn’t this lovely?” you say to your partner while everyone devours frozen pizza in the dim kitchen, surrounded by the scent of sweaty baseball socks.
13. Hidden Costs.
The registration fee seems insignificant until you tally up the expenses for equipment (which they’ll outgrow), tournament fees, team snacks, and sometimes even the trophy. Bye-bye, retirement savings!
14. Priorities Matter.
Keep your focus on the game, kid. Then we can celebrate with burritos the size of your head.
Good luck this season, fellow parents!
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In summary, navigating the world of kids’ sports is a unique adventure filled with laughter, challenges, and unexpected expenses. Whether you’re managing uniforms or dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of competition, you’re not alone. Embrace the chaos, find humor in the madness, and remember to savor the small victories along the way.
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