After a long day in sixth grade, you burst through the door, excited to slip into your pajamas and indulge in some pizza (a thought that crosses my mind daily around 3 p.m.). Then, you mention a FaceTime call with your friends. Watching you enjoy time with your circle of best friends—filled with sleepovers, sporting events, and endless conversations—I can’t help but wish for you to cherish these moments for as long as possible.
As you transition through high school and into college, maintain those old friendships while also welcoming new ones. Embark on adventures, travel, and stay up late sharing your hopes and dreams. Hug each other tightly during heartbreak and support one another when the pressures of life feel overwhelming.
Above all, I urge you not to rush into settling down, searching for “the one,” or thinking you need to marry and start a family on a specific timeline. There’s no expiration date on your journey. Don’t let societal expectations push you into decisions before you are ready.
Before you embark on that life path, I encourage you to experience living on your own for a while. This is a gift you should give yourself, even if you find love at a young age.
I share this advice not because I rushed into marriage and family too quickly but because I did take the time to live independently, and it was transformative. I spent over three years alone before your father moved in with me, and I cherish that period of self-discovery. Those moments allowed me to understand what I truly wanted and needed in my life. Living alone brings a serene peace, making it easier to identify what aligns with that feeling and what doesn’t. You become adept at recognizing drama and toxic relationships and learn to advocate for yourself.
Managing my finances became a lesson in responsibility. When you’re paying for your own car and opening a checking account in your name, you suddenly understand the true value of hard work. You learn quickly whether you can afford that new pair of shoes or a cable subscription. With no one else to lean on, you develop gratitude for your job and work diligently towards your goals. It’s empowering.
You’ll find comfort in your own thoughts, which can sometimes feel isolating; however, this solitude teaches you how to be content in your own company. You discover how to embrace your individuality (and yes, sometimes that means dancing around in your underwear while snacking on Cheetos) and I truly want that for you.
Having your own bathroom after sharing with three siblings or 40 dorm-mates in college is a luxury. You can keep it as tidy or messy as you wish, enjoy uninterrupted hot showers, and take your time without feeling rushed.
You’ll grow into a stronger version of yourself, learning to navigate life’s challenges independently. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for help—believe me, I asked plenty of times—but it teaches you how to evaluate situations, differentiate between needs and wants, and sometimes that means reaching out for support. If you ever need to talk, remember that I’m always just a call away.
There will be late nights when you must figure things out solo because everyone else is asleep, and each time you handle a challenge independently, you’ll notice your strength, confidence, and determination growing. You’ll come to realize just how capable you are, and the question “Can I do this?” will fade away. You will remember those difficult moments when you triumphed alone, and yes, you can conquer anything.
While I don’t want to dictate your path, I sincerely hope you embrace this advice. You won’t regret it, I promise. And I hope you’ll invite me over sometimes—I’d love to relive those carefree days dancing and snacking with you, my girl.
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Summary:
This letter encourages Isabella to embrace independence before settling down with a partner. It emphasizes the importance of self-discovery through living alone, managing personal finances, and developing confidence. Ultimately, it’s about cherishing youth, friendships, and the journey toward adulthood.
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