When children display aggressive behaviors such as hitting, screaming, or biting, parents often interpret these actions through two primary lenses: either as a sign of deep-rooted rage or as a desperate need for release. However, recent research challenges these mid-20th-century perspectives. Dr. Emily Sanders, a child psychology expert at the University of Chicago, notes that a child who appears angry is not destined to become an angry adult, nor does this behavior necessarily indicate future athletic prowess. In fact, what may look like aggression could stem from various other factors altogether.
“We can move beyond outdated views, as they have proven ineffective and lack empirical support,” explains Sanders. “Many individuals who are truly angry don’t resort to destructive behaviors. The root cause lies in a myriad of other influences.”
Dr. Sanders, director of the Chicago Parenting Institute, emphasizes that childhood aggression might arise from issues in the brain’s impulse control circuits or from the rewarding effects of aggressive behavior, similar to the pleasures derived from drugs, food, or sexual activity. Genetic predispositions, alongside exposure to corporal punishment or violent media, may also play significant roles. Having worked with children exhibiting extreme aggressive tendencies, Sanders focuses on the influence of parental behavior just as much as the violent actions displayed by the children.
“Imagine a scenario where your partner has numerous positive traits but one minor flaw; it’s natural to fixate on that flaw,” she notes. “Parents often overlook countless opportunities to acknowledge their child’s positive behaviors, failing to provide reinforcement when it’s most needed.”
Research dispels the notion that positive reinforcement is just a trend. In fact, it reveals that children who receive ample praise can exhibit improved behavior, even if they are initially tough to manage.
“If you want your child to stop hitting the wall, punishing them for doing so is unlikely to yield any results,” Dr. Sanders states. “In contrast, praising them for refraining from aggressive actions can be remarkably effective.”
Another effective approach involves simulation, which Dr. Sanders employs with children who have explosive reactions. This method includes role-playing scenarios that might trigger aggression, teaching the child to respond appropriately—such as crossing their arms and frowning—during these situations. When they successfully demonstrate this new behavior, they receive specific praise, allowing them to gradually refine their reactions. Just like mastering a musical piece requires practice, behavioral responses also benefit from repetition.
“The crucial element in changing a child’s behavior isn’t about comprehension; that idea is simply misguided,” Dr. Sanders asserts. “Children need to practice the appropriate responses repeatedly. Just as you can’t master Rachmaninoff by merely understanding his work, children require hands-on practice.” Brain scans reveal that this approach leads to tangible changes in brain activity as children improve.
Nonetheless, it’s important to recognize that a universal solution does not exist. Some children exhibit violent or disruptive behaviors that may signal deeper issues necessitating more intensive intervention. “A significant warning sign is when complaints arise from others, such as teachers,” Dr. Sanders points out. “When behavior impairs daily functioning, it’s time to seek assistance.” For concerning behaviors, she advises parents consult a pediatrician. A substantial number of pediatric appointments revolve around behavioral issues, positioning family doctors as primary resources for identifying concerning behaviors. This is encouraging, as medical professionals are generally informed by current research and strive to avoid misconceptions regarding aggressive behaviors.
“Science isn’t foolproof,” Dr. Sanders chuckles, “but we’re continually seeking to improve our understanding.”
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In summary, managing aggressive behavior in children involves a combination of positive reinforcement and practice through simulations. While some behaviors may indicate the need for further intervention, the majority can be addressed effectively with the right strategies and support.
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