A few days ago, my children and I had a delightful morning at the community pool. This expansive facility boasts numerous swimming areas, a splash pad, water slides, and a lazy river. We met up with friends and shared the space with several hundred others. Normally, I shy away from crowded venues, but the allure of a fun swimming experience was too tempting to resist.
Swimming pools often reveal our insecurities and highlight our differences. However, this realization only struck me after we returned home. In the midst of the crowd, I didn’t dwell on my son Max’s uniqueness or speculate on what others might think. To my surprise, there were no stares directed at us, no fingers pointed in our direction, and not a whisper of ridicule. All I witnessed was my son, his sister, and their friends joyfully engaged in play. The laughter and camaraderie filled my ears, and I relished the opportunity to catch up with friends. This seemingly perfect outing might never have happened without my blissful ignorance.
The phrase “ignorance is bliss” has echoed throughout my life, often uttered casually. Yet for me, it has become a source of happiness. Max has dwarfism, which sets him apart from his peers physically. While his differences have not been glaringly evident for the past five years, he increasingly stands out now that he’s outgrown the baby phase.
When I look at Max, I see him — just my little boy. Perhaps this perception stems from my ignorance; Max’s stature is our normal. I often forget that he is a little person. Our home is a joyful environment, where Max is cherished for who he is, and he embraces himself just as he is — akin to the normalcy many families experience. We wholeheartedly accept our identity and venture into the world, buoyed by love and support.
Outside our home, however, there’s no denying Max’s differences, which diverge from societal norms. Because of his rare condition, I worry about the potential for stares, name-calling, and ridicule — concerns that have loomed since his diagnosis. But what I didn’t anticipate was my delightful ignorance. Surprisingly, I have found immense joy in being completely unaware. The harsh realities of the world do not faze either of us. It’s not that slights and comments aren’t directed our way; it’s simply that we have chosen not to notice them. We are busy enjoying our lives, shielded by our happy, protective normal. We don’t concern ourselves with others’ opinions, so there’s nothing to upset us.
At times, I do catch glances or stares, but my ignorance transforms these moments into something positive. I interpret those looks as smiles or compliments. After all, they might be admiring what they see, and I refuse to think otherwise. Why dwell on negativity? I choose to relish in my “not knowing.” Translating a stranger’s look into an insult only brings pain, and it may not even be warranted. I am opting for ignorance instead of anger and sorrow.
As Max and his peers mature, I hear more heart-wrenching tales from our fellow “Little Big” friends. I become infuriated by the cruelty of some children and adults towards those with disabilities. I understand that my ignorance may be fleeting, and we may soon face the same challenges as our dear friends. However, having embraced my blissful ignorance for so long, I am resolved to learn from it, using it to navigate difficult experiences and render them inconsequential.
As my ignorance fades and the world increasingly reveals its harshness, I must remember my previous bliss. When hurtful words and gestures confront us, I will choose joy over sadness. I need to keep in mind that there are unkind individuals who feel compelled to harm others with their words. Yet, those words will not wound us deeply if we don’t allow them to. I must recognize that I have a choice: to embrace pain or to bask in bliss. If I can diminish the impact of those sharp, angry words, they won’t hurt us as profoundly. While such encounters will inevitably leave some marks, it is possible to move forward and choose happiness — to select blissful ignorance.
You might worry that embracing ignorance could lead to missed opportunities for education or addressing hurtful comments. However, ignorance still communicates a powerful message. Actions speak louder than words; by choosing bliss, we render the hurtful remarks irrelevant, allowing us to proceed with confidence. Max may be small in stature, but he is not a punchline. Though small in size, he embodies everything that matters — just watch us, glance our way, or stare; it’s perfectly fine. We have much to share with the world.
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In summary, the journey of navigating life with a child who has a unique condition can be challenging, but by choosing to embrace blissful ignorance, we can shield ourselves from negativity and focus on the joy and love within our family.
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