When you’re a parent of young children, everyday items often end up in the most unexpected places. Milk finds its way into the cupboard, and you can’t help but sigh when you uncover it there, only to pour it down the sink in clumps. Tin foil might end up nestled in the fridge, remaining hidden for days behind a bag of grapes. On countless evenings, you might open the microwave just before dinner, only to find your forgotten morning coffee sitting there, cold and sad. Yet, you take a sip anyway.
Beyond misplaced items, losing track of essentials becomes commonplace. Keys vanish when you least expect it, important documents get buried, and the abundance of pencils and paperclips disappears right when you need them. Occasionally, a mishap occurs that leads to a neighborhood search for a runaway cat. Even people can feel lost sometimes.
When I first became a mother, my own mother shared her secret for finding a moment of peace: she would lie on the floor between her bedroom window and bed, soaking in the sunlight, in a spot where we would never think to find her. It was her sanctuary, a small escape that allowed her to breathe and regroup, even while she listened to us searching for her. In this deliberate act of getting “lost,” she found tranquility.
However, as mothers, we can inadvertently lose ourselves amidst the chaos. What happens when we start to lose our identity beneath the endless chorus of “Mom”? What if we read so many children’s books like Magic Tree House or Junie B. Jones that we forget how to embark on our own literary adventures? What occurs when we focus solely on teaching our kids the value of friendship and neglect our own relationships?
This is why I advocate for a girls’ getaway. A few hours away can be refreshing, but imagine the rejuvenation of a few days. While short breaks allow us to catch our breath, a longer escape gives us the chance to fully reconnect with ourselves. Some might view a weekend with friends as a luxury — akin to devouring an entire cake rather than just a slice. Others may worry about leaving their children in someone else’s care.
I anticipated returning home from my first girls’ weekend to a chaotic scene: wrappers scattered, the kids disheveled, and a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. Instead, I discovered a tidy home and two happy kids; my husband had even revitalized the wood beams outside with a fresh coat of paint. Part of me wanted him to struggle; that way, he could appreciate the challenges of full-time parenting. He admitted it wasn’t easy, yet he managed it well.
During my getaway, I flew from Orange County, California to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, for three days with my friends. When you’re with the right group of women, you don’t have to worry about feeding or dressing anyone. You can enjoy your coffee uninterrupted, and while lounging by the pool with a drink, you won’t have to pause to tie shoelaces or fetch tissues.
You’ll rediscover your own name, as the hotel staff will address you accordingly. Sitting by the ocean, you’ll leave the sand behind and not have to spend hours vacuuming it out of your car upon returning home. You can have fun on a banana boat ride, and even if you’re thrown off, you’ll laugh until your sides hurt trying to climb back on.
You can indulge in a long dinner without fretting over whether everyone has consumed enough vegetables, savoring a meal you didn’t prepare or clean up after. You’ll enjoy sleeping in, free from little fists knocking on your door or children climbing into bed and jabbing you in the back. If someone spills milk at breakfast, you won’t worry about lingering odors on the carpet.
You’ll learn new things about your friends, like their quirky habits or childhood games. You’ll have the time to listen deeply to a friend sharing her struggles and offer genuine support. And most importantly, you’ll have the opportunity to read — to lose yourself in a book and remember what it feels like to be completely absorbed in your own world.
You’ll return home feeling refreshed, with small treasures from your trip: coconut bath products, treats, and little bracelets. Your children will cheer at the gifts from a “far-off” land, and everyone, including your husband and even the cat, will be thrilled to see you.
Once home, you’ll reclaim your identity. You are Mom, but you’re also yourself. You’ll check in with a friend about her mother’s health and invite another over for a game of Canasta. You’ll find time to finish that book you started and even sing “Jingle Bells” in the shower, giggling along the way. Your children will see the spark in your eyes, the joy of friendship, and notice you reading, curling up next to you with their own stories. They might even press their ears to the bathroom door to hear your shower song.
Admittedly, you may still find your coffee in the microwave just before dinner, but you will know exactly where you are in life.
For more insights on fertility and family planning, check out our posts on boosting fertility supplements and the benefits of at-home insemination kits.
Summary
Taking time away for a girls’ weekend is crucial for mothers to reconnect with themselves. It offers a chance to escape the chaos of parenting, recharge emotionally, and remember their identities beyond being “Mom.” Such experiences foster friendships, self-care, and fulfillment, ultimately benefiting both mothers and their families.
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