As summer approaches, many families find themselves adapting to the presence of their college-aged children returning home for the season. This adjustment period can pose challenges, especially if you’ve grown accustomed to your own routines since they left for school. To promote harmony at home, it’s essential to establish some boundaries.
The concept of boundaries was foreign to me until I stumbled upon a talk radio segment while running errands. In the ’90s, talk radio served as affordable therapy for those like me who married young without funds for professional help. The idea of boundaries struck a chord: “This is mine, and that is yours. Respect the line!” It’s a straightforward principle, yet one I never thought would apply to my family dynamic.
My partner and I married young, forgoing the establishment of boundaries, partly because they weren’t a common topic back then. We shared everything — from morning coffee to illnesses — and lived a boundary-less existence. When our children arrived, the notion of boundaries was never on our radar. However, as our kids entered their late teens and early twenties, things began to shift dramatically. They suddenly felt the urge to assert their independence, often erecting walls that left us bewildered.
This transition can be particularly difficult for parents, as we watch our children navigate newfound autonomy while we struggle to adapt. They set boundaries that we inadvertently cross, often facing accusations of encroaching on their budding adulthood. Meanwhile, they roam our homes freely, seemingly oblivious to our parental rights, creating a chaotic environment reminiscent of a festival.
Guidelines for a Peaceful Summer
To maintain a peaceful coexistence this summer, I propose the following guidelines, with the understanding that adjustments may be necessary:
- If you toss your laundry into my washing machine, and it leads to a pile of clean clothes in need of folding, please return the favor and fold them. I promise to match your efforts, and by summer’s end, I’ll likely have folded more loads than anyone else in the house (not that it’s a competition).
- Should you arrive home to find the house empty and the kitchen quiet, don’t hesitate to prepare your own meal. I may be out enjoying time with friends, and it’s perfectly fine for you to fend for yourself.
- Additionally, if you find the pantry lacking your preferred snacks, feel free to visit the grocery store. You can always leave your receipt on the counter; I typically don’t stock those items since they aren’t part of my usual diet.
- Lastly, if my bedroom door is closed, it might indicate that I’m taking a moment to myself. If you wish to discuss differing opinions or concerns, consider sending me a text or email — I assure you I will respond thoughtfully.
To my fellow parents who find themselves managing a makeshift B&B (Bed & Boundaries) this summer, remember: “If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it’s probably your college student.”
For further insights on managing family dynamics and preparing for summer visits, consider checking out other helpful resources, such as those available through Make a Mom and Cryobaby, which provide excellent information on related topics. For additional understanding of reproductive health, WebMD offers valuable insights into pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, establishing boundaries with your college-aged children can lead to a more harmonious summer experience. By fostering communication and mutual respect, both parents and students can enjoy their time together without conflict.
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