It began with some discomfort on the left side of my abdomen. Occasionally, I’d experience cramping or aching that I chalked up to the normal aftermath of childbirth. After giving birth, my menstrual cycles became heavier and stretched longer, so I tried not to overthink these new sensations.
However, one evening, I was struck by a relentless bout of norovirus that left me continuously vomiting. My partner rushed me to the emergency room for fluids and medication to quell the nausea. During this visit, I mentioned a burning feeling in my abdomen, prompting the doctors to recommend an ultrasound.
While the ultrasound didn’t yield any definitive answers, it did uncover an unexpected find: a dermoid cyst on my ovary. Dermoid cysts are not particularly rare; they represent about 20% of all abnormal but benign ovarian growths and are the most frequent type of ovarian growth in women under 20. Nevertheless, they often manifest during the prime childbearing years, typically between ages 20 and 40.
Having grown up hearing my mother speak of her own experiences with dermoid cysts in her late 30s and early 40s, I instantly recognized the term. If your mother had them, the tales are hard to forget—after all, dermoid cysts are pretty astonishing.
The Quirky Tumor
Unlike typical ovarian cysts that form during the egg release process and dissolve on their own, dermoid cysts (which are a type of teratoma) simply continue to grow. The term “teratoma” is derived from the Greek word for “monster,” which is fitting given their peculiar nature.
While some liken uteruses to the original 3D printers, ovaries serve as miniature factories containing immature eggs and germ cells, the foundation for various body tissues. In certain individuals, these building blocks can become erratic and start developing unexpected elements—fat, hair, skin, and occasionally even teeth or, in rare instances, eyeballs. Yes, eyeballs. (As if hair and teeth weren’t unsettling enough!)
It’s akin to having a bizarre parts factory within your body. My mom often recounted her own dermoid cyst saga, showing an amused fascination with her medical mystery. She once asked her OB-GYN to display her removed cyst, and with a twinkle in her eye, she described how it was presented to her—complete with teeth and a tuft of red hair. Red hair! The thought left me horrified. My mother’s body was manufacturing spare baby parts without any babies involved!
Fast forward to my own diagnosis. When they informed me of my cyst, I thought, “Of course!” I had always known this could run in families, so it wasn’t entirely shocking that I too might be a host for a tiny factory of strange body parts.
Finding Humor Amidst the Weirdness
My OB-GYN is a beloved figure in our city, renowned for her approachable nature and delightful personality. When we discussed my situation, she advised that we would need to remove the cyst before it grew too large, as larger cysts risk rupturing or twisting, which could lead to serious complications.
She asked, “So, are you familiar with dermoids?”
“Absolutely,” I replied. “My mom had them.”
“And you understand they can contain hair, teeth, and fat?” she continued.
“Yes! I remember being horrified, but honestly, I find it fascinating!” I admitted.
With enthusiasm, she shared that she had even saved a tooth from one of the dermoids she had removed.
As she was transitioning to semi-retirement and would not be performing surgeries herself, she referred me to a colleague. I jokingly suggested I wanted to keep my cyst in a jar.
After all, I was fed up with male politicians dictating what women can and cannot do with their bodies. With recent legislative moves threatening essential health services like those provided by Planned Parenthood, it struck me that I could take my cyst to highlight these issues during an all-male hearing.
“Do you think the doctor will let me keep it?” I asked.
“Why not ask?” she replied cheerfully.
The other doctor was somewhat taken aback by my request but mentioned that while they typically send cysts to pathology for examination, she would try to return any notable parts to me.
Olga’s Journey
Despite my worries, I believe there’s humor in almost every situation. While chatting with my sister, I felt compelled to name my unusual ovarian growth. It had to be catchy, so I dubbed it Olga. Over the next few weeks, I shared the tale of Olga with friends, imagining her as a quirky character who never quite fit in. I even created Snapchat drawings of her and sent out texts exclaiming, “FREE OLGA!”
After my surgery, my first question upon waking was, “Did they find a tooth?”
My husband pointed to a whiteboard in my room where he had drawn a cheerful tooth. I was ecstatic.
Weeks later, I visited the surgeon for a follow-up, and to my delight, she handed me a biohazard bag containing a test tube with my tooth floating in formaldehyde. She also shared photos of my cyst on her phone, and I marveled at the sight of my fatty cyst, complete with a nest of blonde hair and my precious tooth nestled within.
Had I not received an accidental diagnosis and had access to quality healthcare, Olga could have caused serious issues, such as bursting or twisting.
Though Olga and I have yet to make our grand statement, we will. For now, she remains tucked safely in her bag in the back of my closet. I even created a Twitter account for her to occasionally mock anti-women’s health politicians. Olga, with her unique charm, will surely have her story to tell.
Summary
Dermoid cysts are fascinating yet common benign growths that can appear in women, particularly during their prime reproductive years. These unusual cysts can contain hair, teeth, and other body parts, leading to a mix of horror and intrigue when discovered. The author shares her personal journey with a dermoid cyst, humorously naming it Olga, and reflects on the importance of access to healthcare services for women. For further information on pregnancy and home insemination, explore resources like Make a Mom’s artificial insemination kit or March of Dimes.
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