When my closest friend and I encounter annoying people or situations, we’ve developed a little motto: “People can be the worst.” While we may forgive their transgressions, we certainly don’t forget. In fact, we keep a running list of individuals who have irked us or crossed a line, and let me tell you—once you’re on that list, it’s nearly impossible to get off.
I’ve got several lists, organized for different aspects of my life—work, school acquaintances, and even a dedicated list for those insufferable service employees. Though I generally pride myself on being understanding, there are certain actions that will definitely earn you a spot on my “Last Nerve” list.
I’ve taken it upon myself to maintain this comprehensive excrement list, thank you very much. I might even need to grab a notebook specifically for documenting all the offenders. Don’t worry, you’re probably not on my list—probably. But if you commit any of the following offenses, that could change rapidly:
- Ring the Doorbell during Nap Time.
Seriously? Why would you do that? Just wait until I have a moment of peace before you decide to visit. - Leave a Public Toilet Seat Wet.
Simply sit down like everyone else. Nobody appreciates getting soggy from your careless splashes. And if there’s a mess, do the decent thing and clean it up. - Invite Me to a Direct Sales Party.
I’m not interested in your “business journey,” nor do I need makeup that supposedly lasts for weeks. Save the pitch for someone else. - Send Mass Direct Messages on Social Media.
When you message all your friends at once, it usually leads to an awkward mass exit from the conversation. Let’s not do that. - Gossip Behind My Back.
If you can’t confront me directly about your issues, you’re getting added to my “Manure Manifest” without hesitation. - Fail to Return the Favor for Playdates.
I’m happy to host your kids while you enjoy some quiet time, but don’t expect me to keep doing it if you can’t reciprocate. - Humblebragging.
Nope, just no. - Being Fake.
I value authenticity, and if you’re pretending to be something you’re not, you’re definitely on my excrement list. - Chronic Complaining.
We all have our struggles, but if your venting goes on all day, it becomes tiresome. - Keeping Up with Reality TV.
If you’re invested in the Kardashians, we’re going to have a problem. - Supporting Certain Political Figures.
If you bring up politics in a way that makes me roll my eyes, don’t expect to stay in my good graces. - Throw Colleagues Under the Bus.
If you think climbing the corporate ladder means stepping on others, you’re on my list, and probably everyone else’s too. - Assuming I’ll Watch Your Kids.
I might help in emergencies, but I’m not your free babysitter. If you think I’m available just because I’m a stay-at-home mom, you need to rethink that. - Being Dishonest.
Lying is a surefire way to get yourself onto my special excrement list reserved for deceitful individuals. - Replying to All in Group Emails.
Please, think before you clutter everyone’s inbox with unnecessary replies. - Not Tipping Your Server.
It’s simple: be a decent person and leave a tip. Your complaints about service won’t excuse your bad manners. - Commenting Without Reading the Article.
If you comment on something you haven’t even read, you might as well scrub toilets for eternity—you deserve it.
Avoiding my list isn’t complicated. Just be a decent human being, respect basic etiquette, and don’t forget to tip your servers. Oh, and if you’re curious about home insemination methods, check out this insightful post on home insemination kits or explore ways to enhance your chances of conception with fertility supplements. For comprehensive information on family building options, visit Resolve.org.
In summary, maintaining civility is key to avoiding the dreaded excrement list. Follow simple social norms and be considerate of others. Now, I’m off to find a notebook to keep track of the many names I might need to document.
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